Work: Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently...

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 21:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 962

You deserved it 11 822

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Same thing different taste

Sorry, I…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 14:33 - United States - Brownwood

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 837

You deserved it 6 955

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 599

You deserved it 8 495

Oh no…

By yayibs - 04/12/2015 03:21 - United States - Williamstown

Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 423

You deserved it 4 496

Gassed up

By Tootie - 30/07/2011 06:58 - United States

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 954

You deserved it 3 544

By Hth - 28/10/2008 00:13 - United States

Today, I farted A LOT during an exam, all silent, so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I'm now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 330

You deserved it 43 745

The unexpected

By RikkiTikkiTavi - 12/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 3 632

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 640

Inside out?

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 21:00

Today, I’ve been having the worst gas, nausea, and stomach pain of my life and literally nothing I do works. While I was at work, I farted but it came from the inside out; it was so loud there’s no way everyone didn’t hear it. My stomach started bubbling so loud, the guy sitting behind me got up and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 146

Toot toot

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 397

It's a gas gas gas

By annie - 16/02/2023 04:00

Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 765

Fritterzz 13

Wednesday 20 August 2014 5:40

Better fart then hold it in and get the worst stomach ache of your life. You all know what I mean.

KristaAaronn 25

Wednesday 20 August 2014 5:40

Better to just let it out. We all know that when you hold a fart in it travels up to your brain and that's where shitty ideas come from

Comments

cjwayy 22

Wednesday 20 August 2014 7:54

Shit happens

Witchylady 17

Wednesday 20 August 2014 8:03

You should have gone outside or to the bathroom and then let it rip. YDI

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 20 August 2014 9:04

Take beano before and there will be no gas...watch your vegetables those can give those kind of gas

bobslawnservice 16

Wednesday 20 August 2014 13:10

We all have to fart but most of us choose not to inflict it on a captive, trapped audience outside the context of a Dutch Oven. Seriously. Have some consideration and step outside.

someguyhere 12

Wednesday 20 August 2014 15:12

You could of gone to the restroom and let it out and no one would think twice about something deadly in there.

rabidgerbil 6

Wednesday 20 August 2014 16:27

Never Trust A Fart.

drowningfishy 5

Wednesday 20 August 2014 18:31

You deserved it. Next time do it loud and do it proud. Just you know, make sure you don't fill your undies.

rinzlerkitty94 31

Wednesday 20 August 2014 18:35

Congratulations, sir, you have now been immortalized by your fart! Your co-workers are never going to let you forget that moment.

sartrow 8

Wednesday 20 August 2014 18:39

why didn't you just go to the bathroom and let er rip, I'm so self conscious that I will wake up at 3am and go to the shitter instead of farting while I'm in bed with my wife, it is a matter of simple politeness and avoiding grossness!