Love: Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy....

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By Lauren - 20/08/2012 03:53 - United States - New Market

Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 704

You deserved it 4 180

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Same thing different taste

Revenge is sweet

By Anonymous - 12/10/2013 22:03 - Iceland - Akranes

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 269

You deserved it 27 816

By shithappens - 31/03/2019 14:00

Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 272

You deserved it 689

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 565

You deserved it 5 938

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 580

You deserved it 2 949

By crawfo - 31/08/2009 13:54 - Australia

Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 347

You deserved it 12 076

Nerves, dear?

By First date - 30/03/2021 02:00

Today, on my first date with a guy I really like, I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 152

Trading places

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Bremerton

Today, my date ditched me and showed up with another guy at the same restaurant. She even tried to take the reservation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 650

You deserved it 2 861

By TheHeirofTime - 15/08/2016 15:11 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 262

You deserved it 1 737

Maybe he's into that...

By pissypants - 25/11/2017 19:00

Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my dates popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 145

You deserved it 3 539

Brilliant

By BrokeAsFuck - 18/10/2012 23:52 - United States

Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 633

You deserved it 2 040

giantsfan2010 23

Monday 20 August 2012 9:01

Don't tell her?

myth454 2

Monday 20 August 2012 9:02

You haven't caught on yet? Just don't eat the food.

Comments

n1988e 8

Monday 20 August 2012 9:29

Do the same thing to her once, except make sure you take her somewhere public with no restrooms close by. Then drive off and let her find her way home

TcheQ 12

Monday 20 August 2012 9:34

This is abusive! Call child protection

vivsavage 2

Monday 20 August 2012 9:36

Why don't you just not eat anything she gives you...?

Sheh_fml 25

Monday 20 August 2012 9:37

I'm pretty sure you can sue her for that. Laxatives aren't that harmless, y'know.

Bekll 31

Monday 20 August 2012 11:41

Wouldn't they mess up the body (internal plumbing so to speak) eventually?

PhishloverA 14

Monday 20 August 2012 9:40

Don't tell her next time

N1GHTS 12

Monday 20 August 2012 9:42

How old are you? Move out. If you can't, just don't tell her. How rude of her.

catanita 18

Monday 20 August 2012 9:54

On the day of the date do not eat anything that she gives you. What an evil mother.

xtcolin 7

Monday 20 August 2012 9:56

Are there any circumstances where this would be acceptable parenting? There's something wrong with your mother, instead of getting even with her you should call someone. She needs mental help.

perdix 29

Monday 20 August 2012 10:13

Yes. 1. The OP is 12 and the "awesome guy" is 35. 2. The OP is mentally incompetent to make decisions about her own sex life. 3. The OP's husband is in the military and deployed overseas. I could go on. While these circumstances are highly unlikely, these could be reasons for the mom to take such desperate measures.

DelphiCat 17

Monday 20 August 2012 15:00

No, none of those make POISONING someone acceptable. You can do serious long term harm with overuse and misuse of laxities, and under no circumstances should they be used in this way. If the girl is 12 and the guy is 35, call the police on the guy, don't poison your daughter. If OP was mentally incompetent to make decisions on her own sex life i doubt she would have to competence to write a FML that actually gets published. Don't poison your daughter. If OP's husband is deployed overseas tell her to stop or you WILL tell him, Don't poison your daughter.

raraisbang 12

Monday 20 August 2012 23:23

Technically it's very unlikely that giving her laxatives 4 times is doing long term damage, and it's hardly poisoning her. I know people that put laxatives in drinks as a prank. Of course, if she continues to do it then it becomes more of a serious issue (not that it wasn't already because poisoning or not it was still wrong) and OP should contact CPS, move out, or just avoid telling mommy dearest when she's going on dates.

DukeLeto 14

Monday 20 August 2012 10:00

Mother knows what's best for you, darling!

satanisthesavior 21

Monday 20 August 2012 10:11

I'm going to go ahead and assume that OP didn't figure out what her mother was doing right away. Sometimes, you eat a meal and then you get the runs. OP probably didn't attribute this to laxatives until it happened a few times. I certainly wouldn't assume it was laxatives if I ate a meal then got diarrhea unless it happened multiple times...