ACAB and Work: Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset...

By Anonymous - 20/07/2014 05:23 - United States

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 540

You deserved it 4 439

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Am I being detained?

By JimmyT - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Norway - Bergen

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water, and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 021

You deserved it 14 496

By not a shitty situation so fuck you - 24/06/2016 22:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 850

You deserved it 773

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 271

You deserved it 3 444

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 16:00

Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 371

You deserved it 272

By S4L - 02/07/2009 04:13 - France

Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 818

You deserved it 23 379

By Username - 31/07/2019 00:01 - Singapore

Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 234

The Destroyer

By mr_p - 03/12/2010 15:30 - United States

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300-pound man walked out, shook his head, and said, "I'm sorry" to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 219

You deserved it 3 625

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 203

Help!

By stinkyhair - 19/12/2011 17:48 - United States

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 840

You deserved it 2 839

By Anonymous - 15/06/2011 13:37 - Denmark

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 173

You deserved it 3 306

illegalbeagle69 23

Sunday 20 July 2014 18:49

At least you could wash it off, he's stuck with it in his hand.

ElricMustang 23

Sunday 20 July 2014 18:49

That's so disgusting. I hope he gets into a lot of shit for doing that.

Comments

rick_maahea 12

Sunday 20 July 2014 20:31

I have been a correctional officer for a long time, so I feel your pain. As seg sucks, but it's better than GP

graceinsheepwear 33

Sunday 20 July 2014 21:01

What does his weight have to do with it?

darryaz 9

Sunday 20 July 2014 21:22

I can only imagine the things you put up with doing a NECESSARY job. A relative of mine was in jail a few years ago and I visited frequently. The detention officers I had contact with were always polite, helpful and respectful toward me. NONE of you deserve to be treated in such a way.

dammityou 10

Sunday 20 July 2014 21:39

you gon eat yo cornbread

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 20 July 2014 21:50

That's one serious form of anger...that desperate...

Wump 14

Sunday 20 July 2014 21:54

Sounds like you had a pretty shitty day

ScruffyFML 10

Sunday 20 July 2014 22:35

What's he in for? Cannibalism?

buckdharma 37

Sunday 20 July 2014 22:56

Let me get this straight. Some irate, overweight inmate, Had to defecate, wait, elongate and actuate? This hostile infantile hurled his vile projectile? If I may, find another way to get your pay. Or you'll find the same shit, different day.