ACAB and Work: Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset...

By Anonymous - 20/07/2014 05:23 - United States

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 540

You deserved it 4 439

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Am I being detained?

By JimmyT - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Norway - Bergen

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water, and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 021

You deserved it 14 496

By not a shitty situation so fuck you - 24/06/2016 22:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 850

You deserved it 773

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 271

You deserved it 3 444

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 16:00

Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 371

You deserved it 272

By S4L - 02/07/2009 04:13 - France

Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 818

You deserved it 23 379

By Username - 31/07/2019 00:01 - Singapore

Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 234

The Destroyer

By mr_p - 03/12/2010 15:30 - United States

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300-pound man walked out, shook his head, and said, "I'm sorry" to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 219

You deserved it 3 625

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 203

Help!

By stinkyhair - 19/12/2011 17:48 - United States

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 840

You deserved it 2 839

By Anonymous - 15/06/2011 13:37 - Denmark

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 173

You deserved it 3 306

illegalbeagle69 23

Sunday 20 July 2014 18:49

At least you could wash it off, he's stuck with it in his hand.

ElricMustang 23

Sunday 20 July 2014 18:49

That's so disgusting. I hope he gets into a lot of shit for doing that.

Comments

hgmegafan 10

Sunday 20 July 2014 23:12

He threw his poop for you (I threw my pie for you OITNB)

rocker_chick23 27

Monday 21 July 2014 0:16

Get tested for Hepatitis C immediately. My friends uncle is a retired prison guard and contracted Hepatitis C after being smeared in the face with feces while trying to restrain an inmate.

ladoom 23

Monday 21 July 2014 14:40

Hep E is more common with the fecal-oral route

mete_orito 34

Monday 21 July 2014 15:25

Or Hepatitis A, C usually is in blood transfusions.

alex101676 8

Monday 21 July 2014 0:18

while working at a mental hospital. I had one guy smear crap all over the walls off his room and himself. he also was trying to hurt himself and we had to restrain him and carry him out his room.

katties 27

Monday 21 July 2014 13:29

I was once visiting an institution that was previously used for really crazy people. The people that were working with them told that some of them rolled in their own fecies, some tried to drown themselves in the toilet, so they had to be transferred to a room with only a hole for toilet, some used their fingers to scrape words into GLASS windows...!

shutupshane12 12

Monday 21 July 2014 0:27

Sounds like a "shit"Ty day to me

izporter 3

Monday 21 July 2014 0:34

Talk about a shitty day lmao

RokNRoll11 9

Monday 21 July 2014 2:00

That's disgusting, but at least he didn't do worse

greencurtains74 11

Monday 21 July 2014 2:00

a jail with bars? wow im surprised those still exist. most have upgraded to the solid door by now

elsuperloco68 12

Monday 21 July 2014 4:40

fu k inmates some of society's lowest forms of life

RoseS1977 8

Monday 21 July 2014 5:23

As a side note, it's a fact that chimps that fling poop are the smartest of the species. Sounds like a big chimp in a tiny cage getting his aggression out!