Kids: Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's...

By TCRII - 23/07/2014 23:52 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 817

You deserved it 5 165

TCRII tells us more.

TCRII 29

Friday 25 July 2014 5:12

He has been in summer camp the last couple of weeks. His group did an obstacle course through the woods and they had to get everyone over a 6 foot high wooden wall. Pretty sure he got it from that. No signs of infection.

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

stillalive33 14

Thursday 24 July 2014 13:21

This is going to be a great story for future girlfriends.

wood32000 4

Thursday 24 July 2014 13:21

now how'd he manage that?

Comments

ylime23456 18

Thursday 24 July 2014 13:38

The kid must be SO embarrassed.

subhaan786 19

Thursday 24 July 2014 13:39

Was he rubbing wood?

Carrie_Chaos 28

Thursday 24 July 2014 13:41

looks like he got morning wood

ulissey_fml 22

Thursday 24 July 2014 13:46

Tell me you did not use tongs.

m1k3_b0rr311 15

Thursday 24 July 2014 13:49

getting it on with Pinocchio's sister

QuaSiCos 10

Thursday 24 July 2014 18:34

Ah you beat me to it. :( Pinocchio syndrome.

buckdharma 37

Thursday 24 July 2014 22:17

19- No strings attached?

Taylor22294 24

Thursday 24 July 2014 13:49

Luckily he's young and he will forget about by the time he hits his teens.

TheCrispyCat 20

Thursday 24 July 2014 17:18

Doubtful.

TheKingKen 22

Thursday 24 July 2014 13:54

IF your son was humping a piece of wood, I would be able to emphatize because my 5-year-old brother had his fair share of humping things :/

vikky538 28

Thursday 24 July 2014 13:55

ask him to stop painting the wooden deck..

Martijn1102 14

Thursday 24 July 2014 14:03

Do i want to know..?

martin8337 35

Thursday 24 July 2014 14:05

A piece of wood stuck in his wood.

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I wrote a submission to FML and I realized that I could be doing so much more with my life than this. I mean really, I have real life stuff to deal with, and I don't have the time to be reading these s*itposts, much less making my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 536

Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 702

The Top

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 866

You deserved it 6 011

Today, I just finished nearly a year of muscle-building in order to impress my crush. Turns out she doesn't date fit guys, because "they're all jerks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 17 658

Today, we left the cat alone all day for the first time in months, and came back home 11.5 hours later to three enormous puddles of vomit. We then spent $450 at the vet only to find out that our cat is perfectly healthy. He just has separation anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 849

You deserved it 661

Today, while trying on bras in the changing room, I wanted to see what my friend's bra looked like on her. Not wishing to leave my changing room in my underwear, I wriggled under her door. When I got through, my bra had come nearly all the way down and when I tried getting back, I got stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 451

You deserved it 45 805

Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 704

You deserved it 3 556

Today, I got home from work to I find my cash box open and empty. My mom walked up and said, "If you have a lock that easy to pick, you don't deserve the money." There was 650 dollars in there. She refuses to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 324

You deserved it 197