Intimacy: Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends...

By Anonymous - 17/06/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 944

You deserved it 4 700

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Same thing different taste

By DaoOfPow - 23/05/2015 07:51 - United States - Danbury

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 291

You deserved it 3 230

You hypocrite

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 062

You deserved it 6 554

By Bechara - 13/06/2011 09:11 - Pakistan

Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 558

You deserved it 4 519

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 108

By Anonymous - 18/06/2009 07:17 - United States

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 188

You deserved it 119 375

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 122

By peacock_mina19 - 11/02/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 008

You deserved it 27 170

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 16:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 368

You deserved it 2 699

By feartheend511 - 19/08/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 160

You deserved it 3 658

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 23:57 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 441

You deserved it 4 151

Peroxide 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:32

That shit is BANANAS!

akiro525 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:38

who wouldn't?

Comments

cucuto89 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:25

Cool Story BRo

AUT_student 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 23:12

shouldn't this go to that my life is great website?? You friends must love you....a MILF wanting to do Gwen Stefani....FTW FTW FTW FTW!!!! How can this in ANY way be a bad thing??

rallets 22

Thursday 18 June 2009 6:03

thats a FAIL youre doing it wrong

kmknotek 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 4:56

i would **** gwen stefani tooo....

FPsLife 5

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:28

*Searches frantically for who cares button* At least she wasn't coming on to you. ... or was that what you wanted?

lottofee 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:30

so what?

genius_man16 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 15:32

^^ My care cup is so empty it's a ******* black hole

heyyou1203 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 20:27

exactly. How does this f your life? So maybe your mom embarrassed u in front of ppl? Big deal.

Pirate_argh 6

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:31

Agree with #2. Sorry, but my care-o-meter just hit ZERO

Peroxide 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:32

That shit is BANANAS!

dinosaursmoo 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 19:36

Bahahah XD You just made my day.

Frolly_fml 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:35

Cool mom.

starflake 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:38

Awh, your Mom is awesome!

akiro525 3

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:38

who wouldn't?

crystalbluewolf 3

Wednesday 10 August 2011 19:34

yeah at least she picked someone of good taste.

xX_LilSammie_Xx 4

Friday 23 December 2011 0:30

My thoughts exactly -Who wouldn't.

AntiChrist7 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:40

if she bangs GS, tape it and put it online.

Aray 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 12:41

oh my god that's ****** hahaha!

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 434

You deserved it 21 179

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 57

The Top

He's trying so hard. Bless his heart.

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 253

Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 443

You deserved it 5 177

Today, after my boyfriend ignored me for hours playing video games, he gave me some attention for a little bit. When I tried to run my fingers through his hair, I missed and punched him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 940

You deserved it 830

Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 622

You deserved it 3 428

Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 539

You deserved it 368

Today, I realized my sister has a yeast infection. How, you ask? Her tube of yeast infection cream and my tube of toothpaste look remarkably similar. I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 789

You deserved it 3 216

Same thing different taste

You hypocrite

Thanks mom

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