Health: Today, I have blue lips because of a guy whose face I don't even... - FML

By Unknown - 26/10/2008 12:56 - France

Today, I have blue lips because of a guy whose face I don't even remember didn't know the difference between kissing and sucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 253

You deserved it 26 178

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Bad, so bad

By Anonymous - 14/11/2015 07:20 - United States

Today, the man of my dreams turned out to be the worst kisser I've ever encountered. I now have a huge hickey on my chin to remember the experience by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 913

You deserved it 2 344

By Sad_Happy_Gorl - 14/06/2019 16:00

Today, after getting together with the guy who I like, and who actually likes me back, he finally kissed me. Unfortunately, he kisses like he’s trying to suck out my soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 221

Classic move

By qyx3lmnop24 - 20/12/2014 07:33 - United States - Napa

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 421

You deserved it 5 092

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 00:01

Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 99

By nina - 11/08/2010 16:04 - Luxembourg

Today, I was talking to a friend about this stranger I kissed a few nights ago while drinking. I commented that I was ashamed of doing so, and to make matters worse, the guy was really unattractive. It turns out he was no stranger. I'd kissed my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 663

You deserved it 40 893

Tricked

By Puck - 26/09/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - 's-Hertogenbosch

Today, I did the "suck your finger" trick in the car to prevent my lipstick from getting on my teeth and halfway locked eyes with a random dude outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 334

By Anonymous - 20/05/2009 18:34 - United States

Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 075

You deserved it 17 587

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 032

You deserved it 5 098

Dealbreaker

By banarama - 05/02/2021 07:54

Today, I found out that the person I'm seeing is a terrible kisser. I really like them, but it's awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 205

By Anonymous - 03/02/2015 18:23 - United States - Cheyenne

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 283

You deserved it 2 911

Next

Top comments

inlimbo11 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 22:37

who the **** kisses like that? i didn't even know such a problem existed. weird.

laceyxx 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 6:16

i agree with #11. if he sucked so bad, no pun intended, then why didn't you just stop getting your face sucked off?

Comments

aMp2331 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 3:15

dont get it. =P

cowgod 0

Monday 14 December 2009 8:07

and u bitches need to know how to blow properly! jk jk :P

Compass 0

Monday 18 January 2010 0:49

Your blue lips are nothing compared to his blue nballs.

happyham 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 4:12

yup hahaa

barbiegirl224 0

Thursday 6 May 2010 1:33

but you liked it huh? ;)

Reidar 11

Saturday 12 June 2010 18:25

Only question, why did you keep going at it!? What about leaving with a comment like "you suck"? (Pun intended)

Britney_Spears 1

Wednesday 24 November 2010 18:22

She's talking about her ******, smart people.

G6chick 0

Thursday 14 April 2011 23:31

that happened to me

Epikouros 31

Monday 7 November 2011 17:40

Do the smurf for what it's worth!

Adovock 6

Tuesday 15 November 2011 4:17

YDI. Shoulda pulled away if you didn't like it lol. Unless you were too drunk of course, then it's your fault for getting that drunk in the first place. Still made me laugh though!

Aweh_Olivia 13

Sunday 27 November 2011 17:59

its worse when thats the way your boyfriend kisses .

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The Top

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 837

You deserved it 6 059

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 192

You deserved it 9 151

The Top

Today, I was training a new person. The job included driving around the city all day, during which she decided to hang her head out the window and bark like a dog. I spent an 8-hour shift with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 819

You deserved it 3 417

Today, I went over to my parents' house with my female, unspayed dog. I guess they haven’t had their dog neutered, because he tried to mount her. When I attempted to stop him, he knocked me into their stone fire pit, splitting my head and elbow open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 487

You deserved it 1 348

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 565

You deserved it 4 002

Today, I've been diagnosed with an incurable condition in both eyes that is making me go blind. I lost my job and had to drop out of my final year in college because of this. Then my ex found out and stole my car since I "won't need it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 362

You deserved it 136

Today, I received the newspaper from my hometown. My ex-husband's wedding announcement and picture were on the front page. His new wife has the same first name as me. All my Facebook friends from high school commented on how much weight I've lost and how good I look in my wedding photo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 654

You deserved it 3 574

Today, I've been suffering from unbearable headache, fever, agonizing body pain for more than ten days. I took a COVID test, an antibiotic tablets course, even a dengue test. Finally after spending my entire bank balance on tests and MRI, it was diagnosed as a migraine - which went away with a single tablet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 288