Miscellaneous: Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl...

By ThatHurts - 14/11/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 300

You deserved it 34 577

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Same thing different taste

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 106

You deserved it 3 665

By DHarman - 25/05/2010 23:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 641

You deserved it 4 071

By JohnFarrell - 24/04/2009 17:20 - United States

Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 526

You deserved it 66 025

Silent night

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 06:00

Today, it was our first time sleeping in the same bed together. She tossed and turned so much, she actually kicked me out onto the floor, so now I have a black eye and a mild concussion. Ta babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 133

By knobbed - 27/01/2014 23:09 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 937

You deserved it 4 885

By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 133

You deserved it 15 186

It's not a phase, mom!

By Anonymous - 24/12/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I woke up to see that I had two black eyes from a cheerleading stunt gone wrong yesterday. I decided to curl my hair to distract from them. While curling my hair I accidentally burned my cheek. I now have two black eyes and a huge burn on my cheek. My extended family is coming tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 875

You deserved it 7 268

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 274

You deserved it 27 588

By Anonymous - 15/04/2011 00:53 - Canada

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 620

You deserved it 36 079

Time to run

By Anonymous - 24/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 98

BoredomCentral 8

Monday 14 November 2011 8:54

Oh man. That sucks. Well, you managed to piss off two people in one night. Good job.

mannykiddo 3

Monday 14 November 2011 9:07

Today, you are a raccoon.

Comments

sicwitit 0

Monday 14 November 2011 9:08

it's a legit accident

armywife0609 4

Monday 14 November 2011 9:15

"accidently" oh please I can see if your hand brushed her butt when you walked by but grabbing that is no accident you deserve it today at some party do jerk grabbed my but so I gave hum a black eye FHL

pookberry 4

Monday 14 November 2011 12:18

Did you even think before posting your comment? It certainly could have been an accident. Maybe the girl looked similar to his girlfriend from behind? Thats only one if a few examples. Your ignorant idiocy made me laugh more then the original post. Tard! :D

pookberry 4

Monday 14 November 2011 12:19

One of a few examples** not if ..hehe my bad

ZXDriver 0

Monday 14 November 2011 17:59

Wow, someone didn't get enough hugs growing up. Way to try and sound badass on the Internet.

pdHbq 2

Monday 14 November 2011 9:15

Mistakenly grabbed? Thats your story...

SxeDaze 13

Monday 14 November 2011 9:29

Clever pic #18...

btstig 11

Monday 14 November 2011 13:12

I'm glad someone gets it's. That pictures meaning has eluded me since I first saw it.

Llama_Face89 33

Monday 14 November 2011 15:43

I'm not gonna Raichu a love song. A play on I'm not gonna WRITE YOU a love song.

btstig 11

Tuesday 15 November 2011 1:07

Thank you 55. Makes sense now.

NullPointer 20

Wednesday 16 November 2011 6:00

How could you not get it...?

sweetandsexy 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 20:47

I didnt

sicwitit 0

Monday 14 November 2011 9:21

haha

Hansemans 17

Monday 14 November 2011 9:22

So, you have an abusive girlfriend? Someone who cannot solve problems with words, only with fists? Time to walk out that door.

blackpolar22 0

Monday 14 November 2011 17:42

Thats what i was gonna say.

rainbow_kisses90 2

Tuesday 15 November 2011 0:59

Agreed!

FYLDeep 25

Monday 14 November 2011 9:26

Hey, they just punished you twice for the same offense. Sounds a lot like double jeopardy to me.

Maddoctor 10

Monday 14 November 2011 9:52

Um...I think you missed the "mistakenly grabbed" part. I'm pretty confident in the fact that OP didn't mean to grab some random girl's ass, so cool your jets.

Qu1ks1lv3r 3

Monday 14 November 2011 10:23

Her picture doesn't help her comment at all. She looks like she has a hooters outfit on so she probably has her ass grabbed " accidentally" all the time and is just being biased.