By Anonymous - 04/12/2011 23:52 - United States

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 155
You deserved it 3 442
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

hbcbmx 5

Change the locks while hes gone ;)

498 12
geod69 8

Probably with his other mistress

374 6

Comments

Sankuri 9

Make friends and gang up. He sounds like he'd deserve double trouble.

30 3
ninjuh_wingman 29

He has a mistress for his wife and he has a mistress for his mistress. This guy can just not be satisfied.

58 3
hedgehog80 0

Lol I was thinking he had a vibrator, that would be wierd

47 1
t765234 10

42 This is FML ,on here sympathy is for the weak and pathetic, the real coolness is elitism, emotional detachment and the ability to take pleasure from the pain of others.

6 5
easton222 2

Well obviously you don't please him enough

0 10
Daydreemdie 0

Thats kinda mean

1 0
Baytheshark 14

Hey asshole this chick just found out her husband is cheating on her, be a little kinder. Show some sympathy, I hope your spouse cheats on you.

0 27
LadyLexi 0

42 - 15 was referring to the first sentence. And how is that rude in any way? 15 just didn't read it carefully and thought it said vibrator. You are now the asshole. :)

17 0
bizarre_ftw 21

84 - also, if you read FML you're automatically a sadist to some degree no matter how small. This site is quite literally a place to go and laugh at others misfortunes. So 42 just shut up or crack a joke :) Case point, 90^ your homework: perdix, every1luvsboners, ikickgingers, DocBastard

4 1
bizarre_ftw 21

Oh, also, welcome to FML ^_^ Muffin basket? Careful, they bite

3 0
CryMoreFMLs 14

93 - How could you forget me..? *runs away crying*

0 0
bizarre_ftw 21

It was an after thought, I had to type quickly. Besides you're implied :) And if that excuse doesn't work: it's FML, that just how it goes

0 0
FYLDeep 25

Contact your divorce lawyer. Maybe he or she can get a hold of him.

32 0
perdix 29

Y'know, if he's already regularly ******* another woman, dumping him is not exactly much of a punishment.

12 0
whisperingeye13 0

Agreed 94. In my opinion you should have the mistress move in with you and your husband! Why would we do such a thing you ask yourself! Well I assure you that you two could make him much more miserable that way! You could make him go on twice the shopping trips, have twice as many emotional talks while he is trying to watch sports center, turn him down on sex twice as many times, and bitch at him for a being a lazy good for nothing twat nearly constantly! He'd commit suicide before long and you could avoid the nasty divorce process.

3 1
cb1002630 11

perhaps there's a third mistress? which would make him a triple douchebag. I'm very sorry for you hun, but at least you know

23 1
RabidBunny 10

We all live double lives :D ... No I'm just kidding. Forget working things out, nothing will satisfy you more than revenge! Good luck!

7 6
bizarre_ftw 21

Get to know her, make her like you, convince her to help you screw him over, have her set up a meeting and be there instead. Then walk up to him, hand him divorce papers, and drive away in your new red Ferrari with bags of gucci and prada to your new Extremely expensive beach house, all in your name and bought with the money from your new account.

48 14
murdersquirrel 15

Still making not funny comments that go on for far too long, I see.

15 21
bizarre_ftw 21

Only to please the masses Besides? What else should I do to pass my time, murdersquirels?

15 7
guppyfishlette 1

Noooo! Don't harm the squirrels!! Lol

8 2
xiaoxaio 5

she was talking about the guy's name..

9 1
dumboears 8

157 - I cannot stop laughing. That comment was funnier then any FML I've seen in awhile.

5 0
stepanek911 1

have a family reunion?

2 4