Health: Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from...

By ray - 17/11/2011 11:22 - United States

Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 035

You deserved it 24 192

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/09/2014 06:44 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 543

You deserved it 3 838

Blow it

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 01:59

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 725

Too stupid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2020 01:00

Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 2 285

Leave it to the pros

By Anonymous - 05/11/2021 00:01 - United States - Epsom

Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 238

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 968

You deserved it 3 987

By Anonymous - 04/05/2011 18:05 - United States

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 195

You deserved it 8 971

By CantBlink - 16/07/2012 18:25 - United States - Jersey City

Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 687

You deserved it 2 706

By Snow - 07/02/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 771

You deserved it 35 100

Hangry boi

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 117

Ouch!

By pickle - 20/09/2019 06:01

Today, I applied mascara directly onto my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 538

duckie227 22

Thursday 17 November 2011 16:05

That's not where that goes, hate to break it to you

Jdeluxh 12

Thursday 17 November 2011 16:08

You must really suck at making pb&j sandwiches.

Comments

EPICROCKERNINJA 8

Friday 18 November 2011 14:36

How did you get it there in the first place?

tyrrell030491 7

Friday 18 November 2011 17:09

Yeah just HOW did it get there?!

LullzKitteh 1

Friday 18 November 2011 18:40

lmao @62!

mamabear2011 5

Friday 18 November 2011 21:30

who does that? penut butter on the eye.

14natkatprat 0

Friday 18 November 2011 21:56

Peanut butter + eyeball = confusion for me. Lol

jonnynasty 0

Friday 18 November 2011 23:16

Mr peanut just busted a nut in your face, sorry bro.

thetoiletpaper 3

Sunday 20 November 2011 10:32

you missed?

drmountaindeww 0

Monday 21 November 2011 4:19

I don't even wanna know...

Fulldemonstorm 10

Tuesday 22 November 2011 3:57

sounds like a fun night

Fulldemonstorm 10

Tuesday 22 November 2011 3:57

sounds like a fun night

bubbles42597 0

Thursday 24 November 2011 4:49

Did u miss your mouth?

Keywords

Thanksgiving Politics Family Holidays Miscellaneous AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Cars Suspicious Cheating Contraception Love Pregnancy Scary Christmas Sex Awkward Weddings Singing Embarrassing My ex Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument

The Top

Today, the communications expert I'm forced to work with added the line "as they can catch bigger fishes" to a film script. She does not believe me when I tell her that the plural of fish is "fish." This idiot not only has the final word, she makes twice what I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 943

You deserved it 4 466

Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 924

You deserved it 4 073

The Top

Today, I finished my last day of job training. At the beginning, the boss had told us to ask as many questions as possible. I was fired because I asked too many questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 121

You deserved it 441

Today, my sculpture, which is very important for my art grade, fell from my desk and broke to pieces. My art teacher suggested I soak the parts in water to make it easier to stick them back together. They dissolved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 526

You deserved it 3 593

Today, I might have ruined my co-worker's relationship with her fiancé, with whom I share a name, because we "work together too often" and now he doesn't know whose name she's saying during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 296

You deserved it 1 107

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet. Now I know why they call it 'smart' phone; it's smarter than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 595

Today, I was at the market when a guy started telling the man I was with how "curly-haired women are an adventure," saying what he would do to a woman like me. He was talking to my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 389

You deserved it 1 801

Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 805

You deserved it 59 422