Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body...

By Traveler - 09/10/2015 02:06

Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 165

You deserved it 1 657

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By jennyygrace - 11/07/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 610

You deserved it 41 649

By sufia - 29/09/2016 11:14 - Pakistan

Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 349

You deserved it 1 170

By Anonymous - 17/07/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 661

You deserved it 47 210

By GothicbunnyxC - 28/01/2012 23:31 - Canada

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 663

You deserved it 35 457

By thebickster - 06/03/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 572

You deserved it 49 768

TSA

By androgynous - 30/03/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 563

You deserved it 4 755

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 571

You deserved it 13 118

By muffintop - 11/07/2011 02:34 - Canada

Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 182

You deserved it 13 573

Mom Jokes FTW

By Embarrassed Daughter - 18/07/2017 08:26 - United States - Erlanger

Today, as we were going through airport security, my mom tried to joke with the person searching her bag, saying, "Just don't take out my vibrator!" She practically shouted it for the whole line to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 350

You deserved it 362

By kclopez - 19/08/2017 23:15

Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 366

You deserved it 4 827

courtneyburgessx 18

Friday 9 October 2015 12:57

Seems like you must have a very dangerous weapon down there

johnjkl 22

Friday 9 October 2015 12:57

I guess your dick was just to big to be taken on the plane

Comments

ThrottleJockey 35

Friday 9 October 2015 15:04

Excuse me sir, your Prince Albert must be in a can, not your crotch.

laden_swallow09 34

Friday 9 October 2015 15:06

I've had a similar experience. My hair lit up on the body scanner when I was flying recently. Was wearing one of those elastic hair ties without the metal buckle. Weird.

Polynomial 28

Friday 9 October 2015 15:11

Sweat can do it.

tbro47 23

Friday 9 October 2015 15:27

"I'm tired of these motherfu@king snakes on this motherfu@king plane"

mimi_tenten 19

Friday 9 October 2015 15:37

I guess you got something as hard as iron down there..

SmittyJA24 26

Friday 9 October 2015 15:38

Metallic undies? IDK... After getting the pat-down due to wearing a dress shirt with collar stays & cuff links, I've learned to avoid all metal accessories.