Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body...

By Traveler - 09/10/2015 02:06

Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 171

You deserved it 1 658

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Same thing different taste

By jennyygrace - 11/07/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 610

You deserved it 41 650

By sufia - 29/09/2016 11:14 - Pakistan

Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 353

You deserved it 1 170

By Anonymous - 17/07/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 663

You deserved it 47 213

By GothicbunnyxC - 28/01/2012 23:31 - Canada

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 666

You deserved it 35 462

By thebickster - 06/03/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 572

You deserved it 49 770

TSA

By androgynous - 30/03/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 565

You deserved it 4 755

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 577

You deserved it 13 120

By muffintop - 11/07/2011 02:34 - Canada

Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 184

You deserved it 13 574

Mom Jokes FTW

By Embarrassed Daughter - 18/07/2017 08:26 - United States - Erlanger

Today, as we were going through airport security, my mom tried to joke with the person searching her bag, saying, "Just don't take out my vibrator!" She practically shouted it for the whole line to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 356

You deserved it 365

By kclopez - 19/08/2017 23:15

Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 366

You deserved it 4 832

courtneyburgessx 18

Friday 9 October 2015 12:57

Seems like you must have a very dangerous weapon down there

johnjkl 22

Friday 9 October 2015 12:57

I guess your dick was just to big to be taken on the plane

Comments

alicecooperfan 18

Friday 9 October 2015 18:34

Sorry OP, TSA can be a huge pain. I got patted down because I had rhinestones on my shorts.

catdog414 11

Friday 9 October 2015 18:58

I've had the same thing happen to me with my back. Apparently salt content is picked up by the scanner. So whether you're sweating or have juices on your crotch, that's why

derpyshy 16

Friday 9 October 2015 19:15

I recall rumors of IUDs setting off those things. But really, it's something to do with salt content triggering something with the machine. Weird.

chazzywazzy654 22

Friday 9 October 2015 19:20

It may have been the zipper on your trousers?

coocookaylin 17

Friday 9 October 2015 19:27

Sometimes lotion can set the scanner off...

missbritt203 9

Friday 9 October 2015 20:21

That happened to me recently, 'Cept it was crotch & boobs. I figured they just wanted a quick feel of the "areas in question". I guess it's just a thing...unless there are pervs working at the airport where you were as well.

ThrottleJockey 35

Friday 9 October 2015 20:40

It is specifically for this reason that, when I fly, I make sure to wear only a mankini, flip flops, and a smile. I also like to moan a bit during the pat downs just to let the TSA agents know that they are doing a good job. it helps to put everyone at ease.