Health: Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical...

By pain - 01/11/2011 14:52 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 177

You deserved it 39 878

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/06/2009 18:44 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 434

You deserved it 49 775

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 04:26 - United States

Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 994

You deserved it 6 353

Itchy and scratchy

By Anonymous - 27/07/2021 00:01

Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 369

By Chicketi - 11/02/2009 14:45 - Canada

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 989

You deserved it 8 242

By Anonymous - 21/10/2010 10:57 - Australia

Today, I was shaving my left armpit when I cut myself badly. I wondered whether or not it would be safe to shave my right armpit, then reasoned that it couldn’t possibly happen twice. It did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 192

You deserved it 27 971

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 348

You deserved it 29 708

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 534

You deserved it 10 688

By Loki16 - 02/06/2016 08:40 - United States - New York

Today, my girlfriend helped me apply liquid bandaid over an open wound. Unfortunately, she grabbed the liquid wart remover instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 523

You deserved it 758

By tylerlove361 - 11/02/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 079

You deserved it 34 035

Thorn in my side

By CantPublish - 15/01/2012 03:07 - United States

Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 098

You deserved it 4 994

Andr913 13

Tuesday 1 November 2011 18:55

What the **** is wrong with you?

fortehlulocaust 6

Tuesday 1 November 2011 18:55

Just a bit of pain I take it?

Comments

kjkjr27 5

Wednesday 2 November 2011 5:13

Atleast you have less to shave now

fez667 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 5:18

theres a hard way for that? nope your just retarded heres your helmet

g0bak3acake 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 5:48

HAHA retard

JadedJarOfHearts 3

Wednesday 2 November 2011 5:51

Ohmyfuck ouch!!!!

bubo_fml 10

Wednesday 2 November 2011 6:04

Don't tape up when you're "ten-hut!" Won't be such a "hard" lesson next time...

kportal69 5

Wednesday 2 November 2011 6:13

Everything in that sentence was the wrong thing to do.

RougeRamirez 8

Wednesday 2 November 2011 6:52

Are u the same guy who cut a vein on his scrotum while shaving and had to have an ambulance show up??

workoutfreak 4

Wednesday 2 November 2011 9:22

Quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard in my entire life..

kshafer08 7

Wednesday 2 November 2011 11:11

Well no shit retard.

thefaced 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 11:17

Wait... A razor cut... ON YOURE SCROTUM?!?!?!?

NAAMxLOOS 11

Wednesday 2 November 2011 13:41

Yes. What's so odd about that? People like to shave down there.

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Today, I received a text with my last name spelled wrong. A short conversation revealed he got my number from me, through Tinder. I don't have an account, but he insisted he knew that I like it "hard and rough." He knew my first name. I still don't know how he got my phone number or name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 109

You deserved it 2 349

Today, someone stole the seat off my bike. Just the seat. What the hell are they going to do with it? FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 78

The Top

Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 188

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 226

You deserved it 10 895

Today, it was the first sunny spring day that I had off from work. I spent the morning making a picnic lunch and took my girlfriend to a beautiful spot overlooking the lake. I did not count on a bird flying by with perfect poop aim as soon as we spread out the food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 678

You deserved it 238

Today, apparently according to my parents, since they raised me, it gives them the right to use the money I worked hard for, and there’s nothing I can do about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 125

Today, after a few months of my neighbor's friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed, "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 502

You deserved it 16 992

Today, I turned up 5 minutes late to what would have been a 5 minute breast check. After waiting for ages, a nurse asked me what I was doing there. Turns out because I was late, they had put me in the no-show pile, but forgot to tell me when I checked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 540

You deserved it 8 734

Same thing different taste

Itchy and scratchy

Thorn in my side

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