Intimacy: Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were...

By newlywed - 27/02/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 059

You deserved it 13 462

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

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Same thing different taste

True Love Waits

By anonomus - 01/06/2010 01:35 - United States

Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 631

You deserved it 70 392

By Anonymous - 17/02/2013 19:19 - Botswana - Francistown

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 987

You deserved it 6 012

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 997

You deserved it 3 075

By EliseV - 03/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Chino Hills

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 984

You deserved it 6 013

By Anonymous - 01/07/2016 18:24 - United States - Mission

Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 818

You deserved it 5 260

By Anonymous - 04/03/2012 07:07 - United States

Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 861

You deserved it 4 248

By Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 620

You deserved it 8 230

By Anonymous - 02/05/2015 02:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 021

You deserved it 4 136

Love is love

By Anonymous - 27/03/2022 01:59

Today, my husband got drunk, which was bad enough, but then he got me to the point where I wanted sex too, so I let him climb aboard. He was inside me for 3 thrusts and then stopped. He’d fallen asleep, so I pushed him off me, mad as hell, then he farted and shit a little bit. I married this twat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 991

You deserved it 802

Too late

By Anonymous - 27/10/2013 23:46 - United States - Paramus

Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 424

You deserved it 9 613

Zebidee 8

Sunday 27 February 2011 13:20

OK, I know views on abstinence before marriage varies, but to my mind, YDI huge. If neither of you were virgins, and you were planning on getting married, the idea that you wouldn't have sex just strikes me as bizarre, with this being one of the main reasons. It's going to be a long fifty years.

sam1984_fml 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 20:52

*you're welcome (you're welcome! :D)

Comments

mrjude 3

Sunday 27 February 2011 16:11

The first time can almost always be awkward between two people. You'll both learn what the other likes in time, and then perhaps you can be the best.

ROFLBERRYPIE 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 16:17

Should have been practicing. YDI

ryno2004 1

Sunday 27 February 2011 16:21

you don't buy a car from a dealership without a test drive...why would you marry someone without a test drive??? you both deserve it...

demonkey_fml 4

Sunday 27 February 2011 16:37

He sounds like a bit of a sociopath. He's obviously worried that his performance didn't measure up too and trying to take you out of the complainer sweepstakes early. Anyway, what kind of guy SAYS that to a woman on their HONEYMOON, though? Start hiding your bank accounts and tucking away extra cash. This marriage won't last. It seems to me that he's starting this "You're bad in bed" routine as a future justification for cheating and an open marriage. Get out before you have kids. There are much nicer and more caring men in the world. Dude has major problems if he's being a dick this early.

princess_patches 2

Sunday 27 February 2011 16:44

aww thats not nice :( he should love EVERYTHING about you and maybe he should help you get better not put you down

only1onyx 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 16:47

thats what test drives are for. sorry op.

lissalove17 8

Sunday 27 February 2011 16:52

Well you're not supposed to just lay there like a dead fish. Get into it and do something. He may like it better.

goldieglock 5

Sunday 27 February 2011 17:20

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha I think I just peed a little. hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

wtfimnotgay 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 17:30

Everyone thinks its the boyfriends fault. For all you know he could have been awesome in bed. Op could have been failing. If shes the worst its not boyfriends fault. YDI badly