Intimacy: Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that...

By diesel444 - 23/08/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 837

You deserved it 23 197

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Same thing different taste

By fml - 22/06/2009 09:03 - United States

Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 447

You deserved it 5 478

By nottoosmall - 03/04/2013 16:57 - United States

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 772

You deserved it 15 624

By my honest father - 10/07/2013 16:33 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 063

You deserved it 3 749

By accident - 14/02/2014 22:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 058

You deserved it 5 828

Tiny Tim

By hmmmm - 13/08/2012 12:19 - Australia

Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 337

You deserved it 5 480

By rxcrs3 - 09/08/2012 06:44 - United States

Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 034

You deserved it 2 484

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 444

You deserved it 3 816

By xXxJoe16xXx - 01/12/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 055

You deserved it 8 425

Running commentary

By well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 218

Not a cheating!

By Notcheating - 03/12/2019 18:00

Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 490

FrEsHpRiNcE916 0

Monday 23 August 2010 12:12

like father like son!

buzzerbeeeeee 0

Monday 23 August 2010 12:25

if you're old enough to have sex you should buy your own condoms. ydi.

Comments

nikkired 0

Monday 23 August 2010 13:09

Just how close are you and daddy ? Sounds sick too me. Your condom expired,who used it last you or Dad ,thats who should buy the new one.

Cinn_fml 22

Monday 23 August 2010 13:14

Technically if it expired neither one of them should have used it. :P

TheBestManEver 0

Monday 23 August 2010 14:11

38: >Implying condoms can be used by several people. I lol'd.

hottie2hottie 0

Monday 23 August 2010 16:18

hehe (: that's embarrasing

polopony 0

Monday 23 August 2010 18:46

Wait - they're meant to be disposable?! That should be spelled out more clearly on the package

bentleyGCspeed 0

Thursday 10 February 2011 3:57

I love your beanie

daffyduckdd 2

Tuesday 12 April 2011 14:56

cuz that's what we were all looking at the Beanie

mstaerk7 0

Sunday 1 July 2012 19:53

199- funny cause it's actually a toque.

giantpinksextoy 0

Monday 23 August 2010 13:14

HI-OHHHHHHHH!!!!!! lol :p

bayonet 0

Monday 23 August 2010 13:17

wow 38.. you're gorgeous

SOTYsNumber1Fan 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 13:09

yeah but the steelers... they are just bad..

ILoveMonkies 5

Thursday 5 January 2012 12:48

Or her rack? Get out , meet real people . U can do it

JasonEP 3

Monday 23 August 2010 13:20

38, are you really that stupid? Or was it just a failed attempt at a joke?

raymanbrint 0

Monday 23 August 2010 13:20

I dunno where you are from or what brand you are talking about but there are no such sizes.

sallen0046 4

Monday 23 August 2010 16:11

You've obviously never purchased condoms. You might not find them all at your local convince or drugs store but they range from extra small to extra large. Did you honestly think every penis in the world would fit appropriately enough to be effective in 'regular' condoms?

deebo77 0

Monday 23 August 2010 13:26

this is a lie.

epistaxisdigitor_fml 0

Monday 23 August 2010 13:31

penis size is hereditary.... ur dad should know that! quick thinking dad, but you shoulda come back with that! FYL for being too cheap to buy your own xtra small condoms

dedanjel 33

Sunday 20 January 2019 18:05

Dad might be asking because of what he's packing, since genes do play a role in the size of a man's instrument. So, he may need small conditions, and thinks that since his son isn't completely done growing, his manhood might need a little less condom.