Intimacy: Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that...

By diesel444 - 23/08/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 837

You deserved it 23 197

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Same thing different taste

By fml - 22/06/2009 09:03 - United States

Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 447

You deserved it 5 478

By nottoosmall - 03/04/2013 16:57 - United States

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 772

You deserved it 15 624

By my honest father - 10/07/2013 16:33 - United States - Kansas City

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 063

You deserved it 3 749

By accident - 14/02/2014 22:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 058

You deserved it 5 828

Tiny Tim

By hmmmm - 13/08/2012 12:19 - Australia

Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 337

You deserved it 5 480

By rxcrs3 - 09/08/2012 06:44 - United States

Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 034

You deserved it 2 484

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 444

You deserved it 3 816

By xXxJoe16xXx - 01/12/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 055

You deserved it 8 425

Running commentary

By well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 218

Not a cheating!

By Notcheating - 03/12/2019 18:00

Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 490

FrEsHpRiNcE916 0

Monday 23 August 2010 12:12

like father like son!

buzzerbeeeeee 0

Monday 23 August 2010 12:25

if you're old enough to have sex you should buy your own condoms. ydi.

Comments

GRTHPB_fml 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 0:00

rofl

budster1993 2

Tuesday 24 August 2010 0:18

you should have said "no get me a garbage bags "

fmam11 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 0:33

lol you dad just owned you

acruzmn 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 0:47

oh cmon!!! it was a joke geez...

Cnote231 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 0:55

you should've told him that your dick actually got bigger as you got older, unlike him! lol

_OHNOES 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 1:05

he knows way to much :o

Sparkiee93 3

Tuesday 24 August 2010 1:07

Where's the button to high five your dad? Also, you need some ice? For that BURN!

twixbar4free 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 1:21

haha 79 and you are??

polarcap10 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 2:19

it just father son humor ydi for not having a good sense of humor,

chasadilla 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 2:46

needle dick:P

Keywords

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You deserved it 206

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You deserved it 8 644

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You deserved it 2 361

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I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 209

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I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 492

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I agree, your life sucks 42 092

You deserved it 7 822

Today, I found out what rotten cooked potato both smells and tastes like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 779

You deserved it 1 874

Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 975

You deserved it 55 115

Same thing different taste

Tiny Tim

Running commentary

Not a cheating!

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