Work: Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my... - FML

By xharmonyx - 24/04/2012 08:29 - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 760

You deserved it 71 090

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Same thing different taste

By heck - 12/08/2016 13:57

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 153

You deserved it 18 518

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 23:16 - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 409

You deserved it 6 445

By Confused - 13/05/2013 14:39 - United States - Bath

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 628

You deserved it 3 144

By evomadrid24 - 02/06/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 175

You deserved it 2 799

By Anonymous - 10/06/2016 17:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 707

You deserved it 1 317

By overflowing - 16/04/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 194

You deserved it 8 670

Are you taking the piss?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 913

By thinking of military school - 23/10/2016 20:35

Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 501

You deserved it 3 688

By slaughterteddy - 20/07/2016 23:23 - United States

Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 040

You deserved it 2 547

Take it up with HR

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 16:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 571

Next

Top comments

panny10112326 1

Tuesday 24 April 2012 14:53

Why even bother putting FML if you totally deserved it?? Drugs= baaaaad shit.

The_Hitdude 12

Tuesday 24 April 2012 14:54

Yeah... Paying the same friend you rip a bong with to pass a drug test for you isn't a good idea. Must've been high when you agreed to that.

Comments

Exit_16_W 4

Thursday 26 April 2012 1:19

Acceptable if it was for weed, anything else, no

kobekobe 0

Thursday 26 April 2012 2:30

Somebody sketchy enough to sell you their pee was obviously on drugs...

iamcrazy_fml 6

Thursday 26 April 2012 4:20

hahahahahaha omg you would pay for someones pee

Strwbry3Shortcke 8

Thursday 26 April 2012 4:51

Anybody willing to sell you their pee is obviously strung out on some kind of drug dude. Let's be sensible here...

Mrsgarcia 3

Friday 27 April 2012 1:30

If you had the money to buy drugs you don't need a job. If you do drugs you don't deserve a job leave the job to a non druggie who deserves it. Don't care if you smoke weed or snort coke either way you don't deserve a job.

CeltyStark 3

Friday 27 April 2012 7:27

Live above the influence...

XxMoonShadowxX 0

Monday 30 April 2012 8:59

people he is bein sarcastic -.-

esines 9

Thursday 3 May 2012 3:25

Make you pee?

foodlord 5

Tuesday 12 June 2012 12:19

Your an idiot for doing drugs. Good that people find out about it before it gets worse than it already is.

deransc 19

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:53

I hope your dumb ass paid a LOT for that pee!

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I agree, your life sucks 9 407

You deserved it 38 338

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I agree, your life sucks 54 829

You deserved it 13 777