Miscellaneous: Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea....

By highleyj - 01/04/2009 08:16 - United States

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 277

You deserved it 19 933

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 436

You deserved it 4 697

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 653

TW: Gross

By sweet_stufz - 11/11/2010 13:30 - Canada

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 651

You deserved it 38 899

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 18:22 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 190

You deserved it 4 208

By Crap - 30/07/2015 00:57 - United States - Seminole

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 178

You deserved it 1 709

By penguinsfan - 16/05/2009 14:47 - Canada

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 128

You deserved it 53 796

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 10:30 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 606

You deserved it 9 156

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 714

You deserved it 35 128

By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 619

You deserved it 2 732

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 743

You deserved it 893

amykillswitch 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:04

why would you use money. take your underwear off and use those. then throw them in the garbage. so what if you lose a pair of undies and have to go commando all day? at least you would have had money to go buy some more.

McButterpants 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 20:03

I prefer to wipe with hundreds but that's me..

Comments

Tsukasa_fml 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 8:26

Take a lesson from the Japanese and carry some tissue in your pocket. You never know when you'll need it. Sure as hell cheaper, more comfortable, and cleaner than wiping with dollar bills. That said, if you didn't have any tissue on you, then I agree with everyone who said socks and underwear would have done the job.

jojoko_fml 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 8:49

new pair of underwears costs like 8 bucks for a three pack. in that case, i would just wipe with the underwear.

naaah 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 9:23

just goes to show you never know where your moneys been.

Etc80 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 9:25

Hahaha, no one mentioned socks before I did (in #19), and then after that almost everyone had that idea. Easy to think of when you've already heard it, eh? Pffft.

tincan 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 9:57

wow #166 must be bored, to be reading the comment section in FML TWICE. Since I always use TP to cover the seats before I sit down, something like this has yet to happen to me. =P

felipelalli_fml 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 11:40

AUEHAUEAUEHAUHEUHAUHUAUEHAUEAUH reallly good!

deliciouskaek 1

Thursday 2 April 2009 12:38

omg, I hope you didn't save them. I mean. I don't want to come across them ever. I think Uncle Sam will understand if they go missing just this once. Hell, Ol' Sammy doesn't want them now. Also, ewww....

manda518 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 13:06

omg that would suck but you could have thought about a smarter way

DankJemo 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 14:14

Normally I try to check the stall before I use it, but in your case there was no time! I wish i could say that has never happened to me before, but luckily a friend of mine was in the stall next to me and he had an extra roll... I just had him toss it over to me... Look on the bright side, at least you made it to the bathroom.