Kids: Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month...

By mr - 27/07/2010 18:44 - United States

Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 765

You deserved it 10 425

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Same thing different taste

Boys will be annoying boys

By shouldve used a condom - 29/06/2022 14:00

Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 284

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 22:00

Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 181

By Eringobrag88 - 27/06/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 276

You deserved it 4 014

By Getthelysol - 10/10/2018 05:00

Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 322

You deserved it 1 532

By Cuzles - 23/03/2011 16:11 - United States

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 591

You deserved it 36 221

Charming...

By Anonymous - 01/06/2018 15:00

Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 370

You deserved it 406

By lk07 - 03/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 755

You deserved it 337

By peepants - 04/06/2019 14:00

Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 221

You deserved it 330

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 01:55 - United States - Port Orchard

Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 561

You deserved it 9 320

By finalyearsofhate - 13/03/2017 22:00

Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 299

You deserved it 561

arabianhorse1234 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 1:56

Close/lock the door maybe?

bittersweets 2

Wednesday 28 July 2010 2:00

word. put it in a safe place and go shit alone. if you let your baby get what it wants every time you're going to have some hard years in front of you...

Comments

dynky 3

Wednesday 28 July 2010 12:33

lock the door?

letitbe56 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 12:56

Your baby is plenty old enough to tough it out for the time it takes you to poop. At this point you're just spoiling him, so YDI.

TheWicked 4

Wednesday 28 July 2010 13:16

haha, cracked me up! Stop spoiling him/her though.

Lisa89 3

Wednesday 28 July 2010 13:50

Umm.. close the door?? Geeze... way to work that one out. And your baby is hardly going to drop down dead if you don't tend to it for 5 mins.

theredone30 2

Wednesday 28 July 2010 13:51

Why is a nine month old on their own crawling around the house? Sounds a bit like bad parenting. Put the child in a playpen or their crib.

reddwarf_fml 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 14:10

a lil discipline before it's too late. that's why they make cribs swings playpens ....duct tape. just saying

clockworkgirl21 8

Wednesday 28 July 2010 14:48

What is everyone's problem? When you become a parent, yes, you give up privacy, but that doesn't mean you can't have 5 minutes to yourself to shit. I'd be just locking the door and letting the kid scream outside.

s8n666 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 15:14

hey you only shut the kid out nine months ago, it is just lonely for home.

fishycanswim 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 15:42

I don't think swearing is a very good example for your child.

PhillyFox 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 17:03

YDI for giving into your child. It's time to start cutting the umbilical cord. A friend of mine had the same issues with her first child. She indulged in it, too. But contrary to what a lot of people on here are saying, she didn't grow out of it. She's a toddler now and screams her head off whenever her mom leaves her sight for 5 seconds. If you put your kid in their crib for two minutes while you go take a shit, it's not going to kill them. Sure they might scream the entire time, but they'll learn. Even parents deserve to go to the bathroom in private.