Kids: Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month...

By mr - 27/07/2010 18:44 - United States

Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 767

You deserved it 10 425

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Boys will be annoying boys

By shouldve used a condom - 29/06/2022 14:00

Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 284

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 22:00

Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 183

By Eringobrag88 - 27/06/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 276

You deserved it 4 014

By Getthelysol - 10/10/2018 05:00

Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 322

You deserved it 1 532

By Cuzles - 23/03/2011 16:11 - United States

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 594

You deserved it 36 224

Charming...

By Anonymous - 01/06/2018 15:00

Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 371

You deserved it 406

By lk07 - 03/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 757

You deserved it 337

By peepants - 04/06/2019 14:00

Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 222

You deserved it 334

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 01:55 - United States - Port Orchard

Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 563

You deserved it 9 321

By finalyearsofhate - 13/03/2017 22:00

Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 300

You deserved it 561

arabianhorse1234 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 1:56

Close/lock the door maybe?

bittersweets 2

Wednesday 28 July 2010 2:00

word. put it in a safe place and go shit alone. if you let your baby get what it wants every time you're going to have some hard years in front of you...

Comments

pink_lady5 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 17:31

For all the people who say a playpen is horrible: So your telling me you've never left a kid alone for a few mins to go to the bathroom? Whether it was in a playpen or in a living room that had baby gates?? As for Op, leave the baby out of the bathroom. It's just a little weird to have the little one on your lap.

Faeriekiller 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 17:34

It might sound weird but I have a story of kinda this content: My friend's mother had her sister over and this sister had a toddler of like the same age as the OP's. The baby's mother went out and my friend's mother watched the baby. As soon as the real mother was gone the kid started screaming his head off. After like one hour his aunt had made him calm down and they played. Then she went to the bathroom. The toddler followed and screamed again (it was not like crying with tears, it was just like shouting a lot) but she did not care and locked the door. The baby kept screaming for the five mins she was in there. My friend's mom was bothered. She told my friend to secretly mind the baby and locked herself in the bathroom soon again. The child screamt and screamt but she did not care. She really stayed in there for twenty minutes until he was too exhausted to scream. When she opened the door they continued playing. Some time later she went to the bathroom the third time to check if he had gotten the "lesson". He started screaming but stopped after five minutes. Is this neglecting now or abuse?

driverhome 3

Wednesday 28 July 2010 19:09

lol I do the same with my 10 month old!

cnbarnette 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 19:17

welcome to parenthood. no more privacy what so ever. :0)

0opsie 6

Wednesday 28 July 2010 19:25

That's why bathrooms have doors.

texansdiva 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 19:58

been there. i finally wised up, put him in the play pen and let him cry it out. he survived. ;)

SAMHAlN 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 20:09

don't get a boner

fnyunj 3

Wednesday 28 July 2010 20:58

jesus christ! can you say DRAMA QUEEN? In one month your kid will be 10 months old. How about that? She wasn't even crawling 6 months ago. In a few years, you're going to be wishing she still wanted to spend any time with you anymore. End of privacy? Jesus, nothing lasts forever.