Work: Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my...

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By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 631

You deserved it 6 754

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 18:18 - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 988

You deserved it 4 839

Wise words

By Anonymous - 05/01/2022 05:01

Today, I realised that I live to work. I’m not even good at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 197

Life's good

By Petergibbons - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized I'd rather be constipated, sick, sit in long traffic lines, and inadvertently eat spoiled meat than spend another day at my shitty job. All things that happened to me today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 333

You deserved it 2 932

Give me strength

By wtbfiber - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 528

You deserved it 6 463

Never miss a chance to sit down

By wookieewhosshe - 05/06/2023 17:00 - United Kingdom - Cowdenbeath

Today, I was so busy all the time that I actually got a thrill out of sitting down and taking the weight off my feet. On the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 141

Money for whining

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 23:59 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, I realized I get paid to hear my boss complain and talk crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 133

Productivity

By Anonymous - 24/07/2014 09:05 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently, taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 715

You deserved it 8 908

By constipated - 03/06/2017 02:00

Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 346

You deserved it 456

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 870

You deserved it 11 401

By poomaster - 22/11/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 814

You deserved it 5 170

allmidnighteyes 10

Wednesday 16 September 2009 10:01

Shitty job, eh?

3rere 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 10:02

your bored and the first thing you do to kill time is take a dump?

Comments

VD007 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 3:17

LOL me do it tooo i ar funi

19fml18 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 5:42

Eat fiber one

WestG2008 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 21:29

Who doesn't?

nomo_fml 0

Friday 18 September 2009 2:03

Nothing wrong with getting paid to take a dump!

Pepin_the_Short 0

Friday 18 September 2009 4:36

Wes?

purple91 8

Friday 18 September 2009 14:37

You're a sufferer of constipation, are you?

xXMILKYCHUNKSXx 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 0:25

Trying to take a dump? See a doctor.

terrahdez 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 23:51

Dude! I'm in the same boat!

Bilbotitface 2

Saturday 28 November 2009 23:50

thats an awesome job...u get paid to take a shit XD

boomboompow1985 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 4:05

hahah. I do that tooo. I thought inwas the only one. hahaha.

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said, "Eww!" The boy then asked, "What's "ew" mean?" I replied, "Something gross and yucky." Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 621

You deserved it 8 909

Today, my 63-year-old neighbor jumped out of his window. I was the first to find him, alive, naked and stuck in a bush. I guess I shouldn't have laughed at him while waiting for the ambulance, because he turned out to be my landlord. FML

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The Top

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

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You deserved it 155

Today, while working as a manager at a restaurant, the "All employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom was stolen. Now my employees won't wash their hands because they "don't have to." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 145

You deserved it 2 601

Today, I found out that the blind man I've been helping for months at the grocery store by carrying his shopping around and stuff was actually faking his blindness. FML

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You deserved it 3 767

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 242

You deserved it 4 761

Today, a guy on Tinder matched with me. I reached for my phone so fast, I slipped and broke my nose against the toilet, then when I tried to use the bowl as support to stand up, my hand slipped and I slammed my broken nose right back onto the toilet. Don’t think Mr Tinder is seeing me tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 412

Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 143