Intimacy: Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was...

By Dockin - 14/02/2019 15:37 - India

Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 250

You deserved it 38 026

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Same thing different taste

New isn't always good

By anonymous - 11/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Iowa City

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 246

You deserved it 32 441

By Anonymous - 31/05/2016 15:30 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 252

You deserved it 1 844

Glassed

By Penny - 17/10/2021 02:00

Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 159

By Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 198

You deserved it 589

By BloodyNoseMcgee - 11/10/2018 15:30

Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 996

You deserved it 181

By ouch - 26/06/2010 14:23 - Canada

Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 719

You deserved it 8 987

Hot hot hot

By Anonymous - 03/06/2022 12:00

Today, I'm in hospital. During date night, after sex was over, I reached for my whiskey. I was already so drunk, I accidentally picked up the lit candle which was in a glass roughly the same size as my whiskey glass, and poured melted wax in my mouth, up my nose, and in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 2 212

By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 794

You deserved it 815

Smashing awakening

By charapos - 06/02/2022 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 225

How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 461

missamazinggg 12

Wednesday 11 January 2012 22:17

Such a pain in the ass.

zebraface 15

Wednesday 11 January 2012 22:18

Because throwing your glasses on the ground is just sooo sexy.

Comments

Argenisjose 9

Thursday 12 January 2012 7:51

You got cokblocked by glass :( your life sucks

DJRhetorical 4

Thursday 12 January 2012 8:04

Bet your ass wishes you would have shelled out that extra money for the polycarbonate lenses now

grad2012 3

Thursday 12 January 2012 8:12

what does OP mean?!

skatercody696 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 8:16

wow, you my friend are an idiot!

EarAcheMyEYE10 2

Thursday 12 January 2012 8:45

Moron

woopdattrick 5

Thursday 12 January 2012 10:40

I love how the first sentence rhymes.

Djhall33 1

Thursday 12 January 2012 12:59

Better ur ass then your eye...plastic lenses are the way to go

ujitsu321 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 13:16

Just wait until you get under the shower you will really feel the meaning of pain

Ozma_fml 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 13:29

At least you can upgrade now to a pair made from modern materials.

hello_jules 8

Thursday 12 January 2012 16:44

Haha classic moment ruiner ;)

Keywords

Annoying Education University Confused Divorce Awkward Love Sex AITA Dreams Relatable Miscellaneous Embarrassing Racism Work Weird Motherhood Cute Pregnancy Kids Harassment Animals Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Health Roommate Food Texting My ex

The Top

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 250

You deserved it 6 635

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Today, I was on vacation, when a very cute guy starting talking to me and asked me what my name was. Overwhelmed and stressed out, I blurted out that I didn't have one. FML

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You deserved it 4 660

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I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 117

Today, after weeks of intense studying with the intent of pulling my grades up, I saw that in fact, they've all gone down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 847

You deserved it 3 380

Today, I ate 30 chocolate pocket brownies, two caramel chocolates, two Budweisers. All of that while on my breaks at work. I'm a guy and I'm worried about getting diabetes while i'm actually craving more chocolate and sugar treats, my body is getting weaker, I'm getting dumber, fatter, and slower as we speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 1 181