Animals: Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along... - FML

By sammyxoxo - 18/12/2011 08:32 - Canada

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 782

You deserved it 2 781

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Spooked

By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 007

You deserved it 3 460

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 17:07 - Ireland

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 832

You deserved it 7 670

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 391

You deserved it 50 992

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 106

You deserved it 2 445

By anonymous - 02/02/2010 17:32 - France

Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 546

You deserved it 4 269

By RustyBulletHole - 04/02/2009 07:53 - United States

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 169

You deserved it 2 358

By wellokaythen - 14/05/2013 19:52 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 933

You deserved it 5 119

By nick - 18/05/2012 07:22 - United States

Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 072

You deserved it 2 619

It wasn't me, or him

By ev_lyn_aw - 17/05/2017 04:00

Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 892

You deserved it 286

By morphea - 29/04/2015 22:54 - France - Chantepie

Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 774

You deserved it 2 674

Next

Top comments

xXwolflegionXx 8

Sunday 18 December 2011 16:37

Take it back to their house and say "keep your shit off my doorstep"

thisisafunnyname 12

Sunday 18 December 2011 17:03

hey, sgit happens

Comments

hoodyNOT2shoes 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 19:04

"Well I don't own a dog dipshit."

froggeh 4

Sunday 18 December 2011 19:12

lol :P

iTz_Tune 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 20:12

Shit stank. *Runs away from the Haters*

Okayitwasme 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 20:33

Post a sign, no dogs allowed! No pets or soliciting!

CbDemyx 1

Sunday 18 December 2011 20:37

You can only hope that it was dog shit.

MidnightOrchid 3

Sunday 18 December 2011 21:58

If you know/figure out who did it, you should put shit on their doorstep with a note saying "I dont own a dog asshole"

jbchica 7

Sunday 18 December 2011 22:09

How could someone possibly say they deserve this? Seriously!

ThaKoolKidsKlub 3

Sunday 18 December 2011 23:44

OldMan Clemens strikes again!

Track1991 0

Monday 19 December 2011 6:17

Haha oh my gosh that is terrible. I would've yelled out loud, " I DON'T HAVE A ******* DOG!"

13linz 1

Monday 19 December 2011 7:22

Get ur own bag of dog shit put it on their porch n set it on fire! Or Wuts worse is cat piss so if they have a rug or plant or somethin on their porch or wutevr pour the cat piss on/in it! Lmfao

1
2
3
4
5

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, and ever since I told my wife I had sacked my secretary, a pretty redhead, I’ve noticed my wife has started reverting to her old habit of getting headaches on Fridays, which is normally sex night. Funny how this wasn’t a problem when I had a pretty secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 994

You deserved it 1 050

Today, we were running late because my hair got tangled in the curtains. My mother-in-law got so angry, she hacked at it, leaving me with a bald patch, then went and sat in the car as though we were still going anywhere with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 094

You deserved it 200

The Top

Today, my 7-year-old learned "Smoke Weed Everyday" from YouTube, and has repeated it so many times that I'm now singing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 403

You deserved it 455

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 548

You deserved it 8 630

Today, my dad thought it was perfectly acceptable to ask my girlfriend how many guys she screwed before me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 089

You deserved it 1 795

Today, I hit the gym. With my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 360

You deserved it 1 859

Today, while eating breakfast with my family, I asked my mother if there was any more scrambled eggs in the skillet because I really felt like having some more. She got mad at me because she thought I'd asked in a sarcastic manner. I wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 116

Today, for my birthday, I found out I'm too ugly even for a hooker to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 215

You deserved it 353