Animals: Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along... - FML

By sammyxoxo - 18/12/2011 08:32 - Canada

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 782

You deserved it 2 781

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Same thing different taste

Spooked

By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 007

You deserved it 3 460

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 17:07 - Ireland

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 832

You deserved it 7 670

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 391

You deserved it 50 992

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 106

You deserved it 2 445

By anonymous - 02/02/2010 17:32 - France

Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 546

You deserved it 4 269

By RustyBulletHole - 04/02/2009 07:53 - United States

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 169

You deserved it 2 358

By wellokaythen - 14/05/2013 19:52 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 933

You deserved it 5 119

By nick - 18/05/2012 07:22 - United States

Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 072

You deserved it 2 619

It wasn't me, or him

By ev_lyn_aw - 17/05/2017 04:00

Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 892

You deserved it 286

By morphea - 29/04/2015 22:54 - France - Chantepie

Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 774

You deserved it 2 674

Next

Top comments

xXwolflegionXx 8

Sunday 18 December 2011 16:37

Take it back to their house and say "keep your shit off my doorstep"

thisisafunnyname 12

Sunday 18 December 2011 17:03

hey, sgit happens

Comments

shots1996 8

Monday 19 December 2011 7:22

Go be a dog walker. Get about 6 dogs and take them to that yard and let them shit all over the place

DevilsMetsGiants 30

Monday 19 December 2011 7:35

shit on their doorstep

TehAngryLoli 4

Monday 19 December 2011 7:42

Well, now you have to go to all your neighbors and scream in their faces, "I DON'T OWN A MOTHER ******* DOG! YOU ARE PAYING TO HAVE MY SHOES CLEANED AND YOU ARE ******* CLEANING THE GOT DAMN DOG SHIT OFF MY MOTHER ******' PORCH YOU ASS WIPE! GO NOW BEFORE I GET THE COPS INVOLVED!" It doesn't matter if it wasn't the neighbor you were yelling at who did the dog shit thing, after screaming at them the perp. will hop to it. Unless they are intellegent enough to act, of course they put dog shit on the wrong persons property so I doubt it. Could have also been a prank. Oh, and if you had already cleaned your porch(which I'm sure you did by now), demand retribution. Or just get the cops involved anyway.

Tvolsfan325 13

Monday 19 December 2011 7:50

Throw at their door

fatalwish 6

Monday 19 December 2011 8:51

Lol figure out who did it and leave them a pile and a note that states you dont own one!

AmarSM 7

Monday 19 December 2011 11:51

Than you should own a dog

Cheerieful_fml 2

Monday 19 December 2011 16:55

Shitted on em'

kainpwnsu 19

Friday 23 December 2011 19:10

Sounds like you had a really shitty day.

ricosuave_r8 0

Wednesday 6 March 2013 6:51

Im sooo sorry to hear you dont have a dog anymore.I figured you and shannon would never break up

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 61 114

Today, I realized that I’ve been using the same alarm clock ringtone for so long that I now associate it with pure dread, even when I hear it being used in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 106

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 786

You deserved it 7 722

Today, I was fired from my job for "lack of work". What that means is that my boss hired his good-for-nothing lazy son, who then got too big of a mortgage, and he had to let me go to pay him a higher salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 994

You deserved it 212

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 798

You deserved it 6 793

Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex-wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 044

You deserved it 7 810

Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 247

You deserved it 8 786

Today, I had to snatch my son's phone to hang up his “super important work phone call” and force him to pay attention to the nurse trying to hand him his newborn son, while his wife was passed out. He's so career obsessed, I don’t think he noticed his son being born at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 838

You deserved it 224