Love: Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger... - FML

By biggirlsdocry - 06/03/2012 13:56 - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 327

You deserved it 4 721

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Same thing different taste

By Kiki - 08/03/2013 21:22 - Poland - Myslenice

Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 204

You deserved it 5 583

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:49 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 005

You deserved it 6 995

Lrn 2 Read

By in love with a nerd - 02/09/2019 15:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend refuses to talk to me because of a misread text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 252

By marmarr - 15/05/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 503

You deserved it 70 830

By nolife - 30/08/2012 01:33 - United States - Richmond

Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 208

You deserved it 30 064

By forever alone - 05/05/2019 04:00

Today, I was so desperate for someone to talk to I called various restaurants pretending to be interested in ordering food, just so I could have a conversation. I called eleven different places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 007

You deserved it 845

Guilt trip

By annoyed - 11/05/2016 11:40 - Netherlands - Maastricht

Today, I sent my boyfriend a sweet text message, since he recently complained that I'm rarely romantic. Instead of being happy, he decided that since it's so out of character for me, I must be cheating on him and must have only sent it out of guilt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 049

You deserved it 1 434

By angry girlfriend - 25/08/2014 03:27 - United States - West Harrison

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 294

You deserved it 5 672

By rollergirl13 - 11/01/2014 05:55 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 193

You deserved it 5 689

By Anonymous - 10/05/2009 18:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 514

You deserved it 4 226

Next

Top comments

hotPinklipstick 24

Tuesday 6 March 2012 18:55

I think it's time to rethink your relationship.

French_Toast_fml 3

Tuesday 6 March 2012 18:59

He sounds like a whopper of a jerk.

Comments

aeisha26 12

Tuesday 6 March 2012 22:14

Umm how do u know for sure?? #just asking

XtraEzeee 8

Wednesday 7 March 2012 1:29

#thisisn'ttwitter

XtraEzeee 8

Wednesday 7 March 2012 1:50

#thisisn'ttwitter

stormchaser24 24

Tuesday 6 March 2012 22:44

How do you know this?

Bobtheepicone 2

Tuesday 6 March 2012 22:46

What a dick...

vbmg152 18

Tuesday 6 March 2012 22:47

Wow!!! How often do you text him? I bet it's every 5 minutes & he's probably tired of it!! YDI!!!

RodderstheLegend 5

Tuesday 6 March 2012 22:51

Only retards say texted.

fuzion50 6

Tuesday 6 March 2012 22:52

You know, he probably DID lose his phone, but OP is a Paranoid, Self-conscious, needy, clingy, jealous person. Like, do you actually KNOW he was pretending?

jujubunni5 9

Tuesday 6 March 2012 23:12

Dump him. He's an ass.

Ludakisss 4

Wednesday 7 March 2012 15:35

Sorry this is random >.< but can I add you on Xbox live? :o

moongoddess 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 23:43

sounds like a quality boyfriend... not!

ILike_Dancing123 19

Tuesday 6 March 2012 23:50

I know this is about McDonald's, but your boyfriend certainly knows... "How to piss a Happy Meal Off"

Cruewhore 5

Wednesday 7 March 2012 1:14

Hint?

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Keywords

Love Party Lonely Awkward ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Covid Health Kids Annoying Cute Shopping Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (who is very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 998

You deserved it 8 644

Today, I'm pretty sure my husband of 8 years is sleeping with the skank who's in the fire department with him. Out of nowhere, he started texting her and wouldn’t come home until 12:30 a.m. for a whole week. When I confronted him about it, he flipped out. Sadly, it won’t be the first marriage she’s ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 181

The Top

Today, I had a blind date with a really cute guy. Just when I was about to invite him back to my place for a nightcap, he took out a catalog of Russian mail-order brides and asked for my help in picking out the best one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 012

You deserved it 3 452

Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentine's Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 694

You deserved it 3 166

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 261

You deserved it 4 072

Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 525

You deserved it 12 490

Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 432

You deserved it 3 272

Today, after many years of denial and avoidance, I've come to accept the fact that I'm one of those people who are turned on by furry adult art. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 997