Love: Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because...

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 11:53 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 092

You deserved it 4 194

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Same thing different taste

By ddll - 05/09/2011 01:27 - Singapore

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 315

You deserved it 12 326

The best part of breaking up…

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 23:51 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 045

You deserved it 8 844

By CHStennis_4 - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 311

You deserved it 3 865

By ouch - 29/03/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 659

You deserved it 16 856

By ouch - 16/06/2016 10:14 - United States - Livonia

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 384

You deserved it 2 016

By GirlishMan1883897 - 24/07/2010 10:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 130

You deserved it 74 737

By never dip the wick in crazy - 15/04/2016 19:00 - Romania

Today, after months of patiently trying to help my girlfriend deal with her anger issues, she dumped me in a blind rage for sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 378

You deserved it 1 797

Sweet relief

By Anonymous - 17/06/2016 03:00

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 625

You deserved it 1 566

By WTF? - 12/08/2013 04:49 - United States - Mesa

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 359

You deserved it 6 556

By Anonymous - 27/09/2013 20:33 - United States - Spring Branch

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 005

You deserved it 4 556

allenalives 1

Monday 3 December 2012 19:01

You CAN press charges you know...even in Canada, I'm sure

lilhellian 26

Monday 3 December 2012 19:02

Atleast you didn't wake up with icyhot there after she kicked you.

Comments

daviddgaf 3

Monday 3 December 2012 22:25

Her Name Ashley?! Dont Ask How I Know.

EpicSquishii 21

Tuesday 4 December 2012 15:09

Oh. We weren't going to. Don't worry

sweetmama88 6

Monday 3 December 2012 22:37

Your better off without her.

Rocky007 15

Monday 3 December 2012 22:38

Hey, at least you know you are an accurate judge of character.

FireFlie07 20

Monday 3 December 2012 22:50

You did the right thing

dan_in_wi 12

Monday 3 December 2012 22:50

what, are you in ****** 3rd grade? Christ...

simoncat 11

Monday 3 December 2012 22:55

Well played. Just in time for Christmas, you starred in your own version of THE NUTCRACKER. Ditch the bitch. Hang your stocking elsewhere.

ericcrash 13

Monday 3 December 2012 23:09

oww my cucumber!!!

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 3 December 2012 23:10

Sing a chorus of "Rudolph the Red Nut Reindeer"

drkrissy1331 12

Monday 3 December 2012 23:17

Nice!

rocketiquette 20

Monday 3 December 2012 23:49

Is she 8..?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 372

You deserved it 1 985

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 865

You deserved it 62 131

The Top

Today, while on the roof of my friend's house, I took a shortcut down by jumping onto the roof of his nearby shed. Not only did I go right through it and hurt my arm, I've also received several calls from my friend's dad, demanding I pay for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 886

You deserved it 54 567

Today, I spent four hours practicing funny voices. I have literally nothing better to do all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 541

You deserved it 8 458

Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 994

You deserved it 5 260

Today, it was my friend's birthday. She's been having problems with most of her friends besides me lately, so I wanted to do something special. I brought her a cake. Me and her were the only ones to have any. It gave us both food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 376

You deserved it 4 768

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 258

You deserved it 3 645

Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 312

Same thing different taste

The best part of breaking up…

Sweet relief

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