Health: Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while...

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 395

You deserved it 66 459

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Same thing different taste

By Anon - 12/01/2012 19:24 - United States

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 474

You deserved it 5 357

Pissed

By TJ. - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - India

Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 671

You deserved it 3 079

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 043

You deserved it 5 237

By nosleep - 05/02/2011 00:05 - Australia

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 247

You deserved it 6 975

Hiking is fun

By Harry - 29/11/2009 22:53 - United States

Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad, so we went to the edge of a cliff to relieve ourselves. He peed and it came and hit me in the face. He did it on purpose, so I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 541

You deserved it 44 076

With friends like these…

By marz88 - 24/10/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 698

You deserved it 7 135

By JohnFarrell - 24/04/2009 17:20 - United States

Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 526

You deserved it 66 025

By Anonymous - 05/09/2014 21:37 - Sweden - Ume

Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 963

You deserved it 41 633

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 041

You deserved it 3 381

By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 822

You deserved it 7 808

DearCricket 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 9:10

Instant Karma :)

dragonaair 5

Wednesday 13 October 2010 9:07

You deserve it, asshole.

Comments

ricktos 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 11:54

next time try a warm sausage on his mouth and when he wakes up pretend to zip up your fly! lol

smokey20 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 11:58

haha that's what you get jackass

mackentoshe 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 12:01

salamanders

doll_face89 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 12:05

lmao good laugh. you should have known better

pdp_fml 21

Wednesday 13 October 2010 12:12

That is an old trick. It has been around for ages!

daaaniel 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 12:15

58 win haha

christa953 12

Wednesday 13 October 2010 12:36

what's with all these elementary pranks???

siv97splat 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 12:52

I'm srry about whatever mark he left but that was hilarious!!! u totally deserved it!!! ur so dumb

pancake_mixx 9

Wednesday 13 October 2010 12:57

Are you 5 years old? Do you need to see people perform bodily functions? Creeper.

babelini 12

Wednesday 13 October 2010 13:11

lol. exactly.

Astroman129 7

Wednesday 13 October 2010 13:18

Save the whipped cream for the sex. It's not worth it.

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I took my 8 year-old daughter to an airplane museum to show her the kinds of aircraft I’ve worked on during my 30+ year career. In the first 15 minutes, I had grease on my new shirt, bumped my head, spilled coffee and cut my hand. Sums up my career. Only 10 more years to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 237

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 328

You deserved it 6 125

The Top

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 117

You deserved it 2 938

Today, my mother-in-law blackmailed and force-fed my toddler some very spicy food. She screamed at me when I tried to stop her. Three different pediatricians have advised no spicy food for my toddler due to a stomach condition, but of course my MIL knows better than all doctors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 147

Today, I went to my dad's house for Christmas. Soon enough, my grandma had commented on how much weight I've gained, my aunt asked me why I'm still single, and my dad joined in by reminding me that I still haven't been accepted into college. Only three more days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 250

You deserved it 3 697

Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 148

Today, I finally got up the nerve to invite the guy I like to hang out at my house. It was also the day my mother decided that our house is a "pants optional zone," and that she should implement that policy immediately. While he was at our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 202

You deserved it 2 869

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 515

You deserved it 15 209

Same thing different taste

Pissed

Hiking is fun

With friends like these…

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