Intimacy: Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha"...

By sluttydancer - 10/06/2009 13:51 - United States

Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 256

You deserved it 61 931

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 04/05/2011 10:01 - Australia

Today, as I was walking back inside I noticed my mop leaning on the wall next to my door. I picked it up and started slow dancing with it, imagining it was the girl I'm in love with. I didn't notice my neighbours bunched up at their window laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 469

You deserved it 33 985

By youjustsuck - 25/07/2011 18:07 - United States

Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 262

You deserved it 12 784

By danam - 05/07/2011 02:38 - Canada

Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 224

You deserved it 4 323

By secret dancer - 16/08/2011 16:55 - Sweden

Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 457

You deserved it 11 365

By kiwichick4life - 30/07/2013 16:42 - United States - Pickerington

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 644

You deserved it 14 174

By Danny - 28/05/2012 18:02 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 286

You deserved it 5 773

By DusterOverBits - 23/09/2009 09:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 382

You deserved it 44 839

By crazygirl10 - 28/05/2010 20:37 - United States

Today, both my parents were at work so I was home alone. My boyfriend had wanted to surprise me and take me out to lunch. He found me dancing on my kitchen table singing "Like a Virgin" at the top of my lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 536

You deserved it 33 124

By best_friend - 25/07/2011 06:43 - United States

Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 563

You deserved it 9 971

By SCREWED - 15/07/2011 06:25 - United States

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 874

You deserved it 3 900

dmmd8686 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 19:57

Should have gone up to him and said "that'll cost you 20 for the show"

regalarius 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 19:54

Man, if I had a dollar for every minute I've been glad no one was watching me, I'd be a rich man. FYL. Also: in before "do him"

Comments

heyitslexx 3

Monday 19 December 2011 23:48

Lol

ZZDomoZZ 1

Tuesday 17 April 2012 7:41

It's not his fault he got a boner, it's not like guys can control them.

Miooow 16

Friday 20 April 2012 7:48

I bet her dad is having crazy wild fantasies of you after this. :/

mordecaiandrigby 26

Thursday 7 June 2012 22:20

He had a boner, not wiped the window with it. Jeez...

dudette123456789 0

Tuesday 26 June 2012 19:43

omg thats disgusting!!! :o

skittycat213 19

Sunday 9 September 2012 5:25

Ydi, and you might want to try fixing your taste in music.

Incognito23 15

Wednesday 13 February 2013 13:32

Well, at least you know you're good?

hottay7164 18

Wednesday 17 July 2013 5:44

Wow that would be awkward for any other time you over. Am I the only one that is wondering why there is a pole in the kitchen?

kingbrizo 24

Thursday 2 January 2014 3:47

not only is this the best FML ive seen lately, i now have more male perspective on boners

expectcriticism 13

Monday 13 January 2014 12:42

you deserve it for being a ****

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 111

Today, while we were at a museum I like, my wife told me she was “in the mood” so we quickly drove home, where she suddenly “wasn’t in the mood anymore.” I get the feeling she was bored with the museum, and lied to me to come home earlier. FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 190

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I agree, your life sucks 64 331

You deserved it 10 161

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I agree, your life sucks 32 794

You deserved it 12 061

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I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 339

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You deserved it 3 957

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You deserved it 1 980

Same thing different taste

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