Health: Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I...

By person - 26/12/2010 17:59 - Jordan

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 923

You deserved it 28 341

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Same thing different taste

Mr. Burns

By Anonymous - 20/09/2020 17:00 - United States

Today, I put icy hot on my aching shoulders, like I have been for several days. They seemed extra tender today, and it wasn't until the burning started that I realized I had put icy hot directly on a very angry sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 522

Sliced

By Anonymous - 18/04/2023 18:00

Today, I was in a rush to get ready for work so I quickly shaved my legs. In my haste, I accidentally nicked myself in a very sensitive area and had to spend the day simmering in discomfort and checking my crotch every so often to make I wasn't bleeding through my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 265

By Dan - 20/10/2018 15:30

Today, I put some Gold Bond in between my legs to help reduce moisture. After I finished applying it, I discovered that the Gold Bond had Menthol in it. My crotch is on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 588

You deserved it 2 349

Pissed

By Matt - 13/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 530

Sick burn

By littl3storm - 01/06/2020 17:00

Today, while sitting an at home university exam, I started getting period cramps. I decided to use a heat patch to help. I left it on for the allotted time, but when I took it off, it peeled my skin off and burnt the surrounding skin. I'm now burnt AND still experiencing cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 220

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 676

You deserved it 27 504

Our insect overlords

By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 10:58

Today, something flew up the back of my shorts while I was at work. I now have itchy hot welts the size of my palm coating the back and inside of both my upper thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 76

Nuts

By Painful - 05/10/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 924

You deserved it 40 001

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 15/08/2018 20:30

Today, I rested my face against my boyfriend's shoulder while we watched a movie. I didn’t realize he had put Icy Hot on the same shoulder right before I sat down. I cried in pain. He cried with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 771

You deserved it 447

f_alltheirlives 3

Sunday 26 December 2010 23:36

Dime sacks? Plums? You should trade those in for a pair of regular testicles

fakeaccountX 6

Monday 27 December 2010 2:20

Attention all FMyLife users. Testicles. That is all.

Comments

Emilyinroom483 7

Monday 27 December 2010 0:04

YDI for using bizarre epithets for your testicles.

LuxAeterna_fml 0

Monday 27 December 2010 4:03

Agreed.

lonely_heart_89 6

Monday 27 December 2010 0:05

What in the hell is "icy hot"? He sounds like an "oxymoron" to me...

Fmyspam 0

Monday 27 December 2010 0:12

It's a well known muscle relaxant.

macskapingvin 0

Monday 27 December 2010 0:18

But still an oxymoron.

rallets 22

Monday 27 December 2010 1:21

nope, at first its icy, then its hot..so not an oxymoron at all the only moron here appears to be you

cerulean_rules 2

Monday 27 December 2010 6:33

It's like jumbo shrimp. It's real, but it's name is an oxymoron.

3p1c_fml 1

Monday 27 December 2010 6:52

kinda like "smart commenter"...

Illblowyourmind 3

Monday 27 December 2010 8:33

the OP said it "sounds" like an oxymoron so stop being asses about and shut up :)

xXgUeSsWhAtXx 9

Monday 27 December 2010 18:44

#91 actually jumbo shrimp isnt an oxymoron shrimp isnt refering to size but to the fish or whatever it is =)

Namenlos_fml 20

Monday 27 December 2010 0:12

I lost any and all respect for you once you started to call them "dime sacks"

MissEvilTwin 0

Monday 27 December 2010 0:18

Ydi for calling them dime sacks

MissEvilTwin 0

Monday 27 December 2010 0:20

And for having sore thighs

DocBastard 38

Monday 27 December 2010 0:22

Considering OP can't say the words "scrotum" or "testicles", what do you think he meant by "thighs"?

DoubleEdgedBlade 4

Monday 27 December 2010 7:42

Dollar bills and Bananas?

ImaginaryFoe 0

Monday 27 December 2010 0:24

It's still a valid question if you change ****** to penis.

sourgirl101 28

Monday 27 December 2010 0:27

Oh your poor bollock! I bet your left one got the worst of it. I've heard the left (though smaller) always hangs lower than your right one.

dsalerno16 0

Monday 27 December 2010 3:07

actually the hand you favor decides which is larger. lefty, left nut. righty,right nut. however fyl dude

wwerulez14 6

Monday 27 December 2010 0:33

Anyone else laugh at the fact that not only couldn't he say testicles, he used two different words to reference them? I just found that hilarious.

at0micmin3r 23

Monday 27 December 2010 0:35

...Dime sacks? ....Plums? YDI for not using scientific terms. testes, son.

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