Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards....

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 937

You deserved it 44 867

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Same thing different taste

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By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 509

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 444

You deserved it 7 721

By Anonymous - 04/07/2014 19:04 - Netherlands

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 952

You deserved it 3 437

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:14 - United States

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 337

You deserved it 4 364

By mathii - 23/07/2011 23:52 - France

Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 771

You deserved it 6 169

Sick moves, bro

By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 301

You deserved it 55 372

By megan - 01/04/2015 17:56 - United States - Lutz

Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 206

You deserved it 2 474

By anonymous - 10/06/2009 22:50 - United States

Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 730

You deserved it 4 673

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 144

You deserved it 6 229

By t - 17/05/2011 03:26

Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 768

You deserved it 6 160

Heartless234 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:18

Aw that's embarrassing. Hey sometimes I choke on my saliva :D.

mannix_fml 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:12

It was mean't to be, dum dum!

Comments

Subtext 10

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:29

Really no FML, but still kinda funny ;)

gclunax 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:32

LMFAO!! Thts hilarious! So much for not needing assistance xD

xevioso 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:39

so...did he perform the CPR?

idontgiveone 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:39

LOL. eek.

doggie3 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:40

Ooh. That sucks. That happened to me one time. A little different, but pretty much the same. I hope he was nice about it.

crazy_cat_lady24 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:47

booooring.

annaattack 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:49

Dang, you're a bad flirt.

sahara_fml 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:56

I thought CPR was meant for restarting someone's heart...?

Vaati_fml 20

Saturday 19 April 2014 8:47

Mouth to mouth resuscitation is a part of CPR.

letitbe56 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 17:00

How do you choke on water? Last I checked, liquids don't obstruct your airway when you swallow them wrong, it's just uncomfortable as hell.

caticaticati 3

Tuesday 11 August 2009 17:24

Haven't you ever heard of people choking on their own spit? It's not a metaphor. I guess maybe 'choking' isn't the right word but it's not just uncomfortable, you start coughing and your body tries to push the liquid out of your airway, which is basically choking from what I understand.

FreddyLunch 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 17:35

I choke on my spit all the time, everyone thinks I'm crazy because I'm not drinking.

letitbe56 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 21:34

Ok, so I was thinking of choking as when your airway gets completely blocked and you need the Heimlich. But "choking" refers to the body's coughing reflex when foreign solids or liquids get into the windpipe. So whenever liquid goes down the wrong way you're technically choking. Interesting. Guess this is what I get for deciding not to go to med school.