Health: Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker...

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By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 00:53 - United States

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 171

You deserved it 40 586

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Same thing different taste

By zaneey - 17/01/2009 18:41 - Australia

Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 673

You deserved it 42 762

By Spockx - 06/08/2012 11:20 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 393

You deserved it 2 878

Not funny, son

By Embarassed - 15/03/2011 19:29 - United States

Today, while at a school anti-drugs assembly, the speaker asked everyone to stand up if they knew someone who had died of an overdose. As I stood up, my friend hit me in the side, making me laugh. I stood frozen under accusing glares while the speaker bitched me out for a good 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 444

You deserved it 12 766

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 00:01

Today, I saw my boss, so I mentioned to him, "Oh, I quit." He then interrupted, saying, "Great, I was going to fire you this week anyway." I wanted to tell him I quit smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 268

You deserved it 297

By Misky - 02/07/2012 02:51

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 598

You deserved it 28 477

By Anonymous - 17/07/2012 13:54 - Greece - Athens

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 304

You deserved it 5 727

Caught in 4K

By tanksfan - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - India

Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 485

You deserved it 42 522

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 15:00 - United States

Today, I'm going cold turkey with my drinking and smoking habits. I'm so irritable, I seriously considered running down an old lady who was taking her damn sweet time crossing the road, then shooting the guy in the car behind me for honking at me like I was holding everyone up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 620

You deserved it 3 653

By drug testing - 09/05/2013 22:22 - United States - Little Chute

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 143

You deserved it 15 331

By Michelle - 26/04/2010 21:42 - New Zealand

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 719

You deserved it 17 356

lazytown 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 9:35

Cold turkey helps because it's yummy. You'll be too busy eating it to smoke.

Exodium 0

Friday 11 December 2009 0:51

Isn't the whole point of School that you ask a question when you don't know something? I'm sorry, but you sound like an idiot. What will this person learn by NOT asking questions? Regardless, they actually did say "And then I realised" so they obviously figured it out anyway.

Comments

a_non_y_mo_us 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 10:23

hahaha. hilarious! i think you and i would get along.

Yulia_fml 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 10:28

I wonder what the real reason behind the expression "cold turkey" is. I'm sure it came from somewhere logical...

Jimboom 11

Thursday 10 December 2009 10:30

Cold turkey helps because you can cut a slice off, roll it up and then pretend to smoke it while you eat it. ;)

youaresofucked 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 11:03

: p

CaeliLady 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 11:34

Haaa, that made me giggle an unnecessary amount. Nicely worded FML!

myvenusdoom 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 11:53

wtf? ok im not american, i dunno if u guys all have the " cold turkey" secret code or wutever, but how on earth wld cold turkey help? like dely meat cold turkey? or just a big fat old turkey dead n cold? either ways, i cant think of any possible way it wld work, useless..

e11ie 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 11:59

To quit something cold turkey means to just simply give it up all at once, rather than slowly training yourself off of the addiction. So, instead of going from smoking a pack of cigarettes a day down to half a pack, then to a quarter of a pack, then to 2 cigs a day....the person would simply take all of their cigarettes, throw them out, and try to never touch one again. It's known to often lead to failure. It's possible to quit something cold turkey, but it's similar to going on a crash diet, after a week or so, the person gives up.

arielhoee 9

Thursday 10 December 2009 12:20

The expression was used for drug addicts who would simply quit drugs all together, & they would get goosebumps that resembled uncooked turkey skin. (:

ChairForce 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 1:33

I always wondered where that term came from. I quit smoking cold-turkey. I haven't had a cigarette in almost 2 years. I tried one puff several months ago and it made me sick. But then again, I smoked a half a pack a day at my worst.

Thrasher91 0

Friday 17 June 2011 13:20

I actually have never ever heard of that expression since I'm from Sweden. Now when I found out about it I realized I've done that cold turkey shit! I smoked a pack and a half for 4 and a half year. I quit 8th october and haven't even tasted a drag of a ciggarette since.