Intimacy: Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first... - FML

By someone - 17/09/2013 16:38 - United States - San Diego

Spicy

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 600

You deserved it 6 921

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Same thing different taste

By Kayt - 03/10/2011 04:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 494

You deserved it 4 656

So hot

By bonesniffer - 16/09/2010 05:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 827

You deserved it 6 059

By left out wet - 22/06/2019 22:08

Spicy

Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 246

By chelle - 01/05/2009 17:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 885

You deserved it 15 676

Awkward

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 00:30

Spicy

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to cuddle as we usually do. To prepare for this, the first thing I always do is dive into bed. This time, I felt something squishy under the covers, and screamed when I saw it was a Fleshlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 897

By goldie09 - 18/02/2010 17:36 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 797

You deserved it 5 232

Follow the script

By ufhdafuhds - 19/03/2009 23:31 - Egypt

Spicy

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 355

You deserved it 14 494

By horny21 - 21/02/2010 08:19 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 517

You deserved it 4 037

By Wet dreamer - 17/01/2018 19:00

Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 936

You deserved it 778

Hidden secret

By anonymous - 01/10/2016 09:00 - Australia - Tennyson

Spicy

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 297

You deserved it 2 147

Next

Top comments

metalhead4740 14

Tuesday 17 September 2013 22:41

Well the man has his priorities straight...

GenaALazer 22

Tuesday 17 September 2013 22:41

He might have gotten nervous. Don't worry, it's probably just a one time thing.

Comments

harrisoncohix 5

Wednesday 18 September 2013 0:46

Naked girlfriend or rubik's cube? #INTJproblems

Zebediabolical 39

Wednesday 18 September 2013 0:47

Any man who can solve a rubix cube can very likely take off your bra with a single finger, and definitely has the manual skills to get you off. He's just warming up!

FrankHotpants 31

Wednesday 18 September 2013 0:51

What happened is he heard about the similarities between the woman's ****** and the Rubik's cube.

kaitlynnn95 10

Wednesday 18 September 2013 0:54

Maybe he was just doing a warm-up.

alexxeon 5

Wednesday 18 September 2013 0:56

Maybe he wasn't in the mood?

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 18 September 2013 15:51

The simplest explanation is always the best.

qwertyu_ioplk 9

Wednesday 18 September 2013 1:13

all i thought of was alfie deyes, because he can do a rubix in under a minute

feelingold 18

Wednesday 18 September 2013 1:31

So to sum up: ravishing the present participle not ravishing the adjective. Sorry 42. My inner grammar Nazi is satisfied and order is restored once again...

vegas_jose 18

Wednesday 18 September 2013 1:34

He wanted to break a mental sweat before his physical one.

BubbaJ80 11

Wednesday 18 September 2013 1:40

Sounds like he likes playing with little toys

Espolax 8

Wednesday 18 September 2013 2:02

Did he at least solve it?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

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Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 40 174

You deserved it 12 742

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 947

You deserved it 8 126

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I agree, your life sucks 91 618

You deserved it 13 532

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I agree, your life sucks 186 963

You deserved it 33 463

Today, I went to the home of a guy I was talking to on Tinder to hook up. His wife answered the door and invited me in. She wanted to watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 519

You deserved it 2 942

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