Intimacy: Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I...

By Anonymous - 14/03/2012 19:31 - United States

Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 877

You deserved it 33 088

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Same thing different taste

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 193

You deserved it 241

Caught in 404pp

By danggit3290 - 03/05/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "You know, I'm looking RIGHT at you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 032

You deserved it 89 510

Hey there!

By ohcrap - 08/11/2012 01:41 - United States

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 037

You deserved it 2 603

By inyobeddd - 02/05/2013 08:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 927

You deserved it 6 719

By pear8head - 08/08/2009 16:31 - United States

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 308

You deserved it 5 911

By anon - 15/09/2012 05:35 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 433

You deserved it 2 728

Late reaction

By fuck - 22/01/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 360

You deserved it 665

By JoeyDizz - 06/05/2009 03:41 - United States

Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 306

You deserved it 66 703

By Nell - 30/06/2011 21:10 - United States

Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 458

You deserved it 37 398

By Anonyme - 09/07/2011 00:11 - France

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 976

You deserved it 83 937

Calyx_fml 21

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:12

Go over and shake her hand in greeting.

glittercookies 12

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:14

Give her a look of disgust for being a voyeur!

Comments

ifoundalaska 11

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:29

They're pretty gross for spying on you. Everybody masturbates anyway so why are they surprised you were...

angelinaanimerg 7

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:29

You didn't do anything wrong masturbating in your own apartment. Wtf was she doing watching u. Give her a look for being a peeper

phonefromhell 0

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:30

know what i think? you are a M to the O to the R to the O to the N. what does that spell? figure it out.

chillyCholo 5

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:47

Mtotheotothertotheotothen.. I don't get it

Sexy_Smurf 16

Thursday 15 March 2012 10:53

M>O>R>O>N.... poster is saying OP is a Moron (their views not mine) :D

ohmandapants 16

Thursday 15 March 2012 15:24

^ you obviously don't get the joke. And I don't get how OP is a moron, what he does in his own home is his business. She didn't have to STARE. He just forgot to close the curtains. Or what if OP doesn't have curtains or blinds?

ethan1398 2

Monday 25 February 2013 0:37

Your ******* gay you dick

Shadow_Phantom 26

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:36

Wtf? What a creeper. FYL.

ThecomingofTan 9

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:41

She just acted like she was disgusted. Seeing you in the act made her realize that she needs to head home and do some self-exploration of her own.

groupleader 7

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:50

If you are masturbating, she probably figures you don't want a g/f anyway..

bizarre_ftw 21

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:50

She was looking at You in disgust?! What you do in the comfort of your own home is your business and masturbating is perfectly healthy and normal. Tack a letter to her door that goes over the finer points of why being a Peeping Tom is wrong morally, socially, and legally Then add in a subtle threat of legal action and end in a clearly malice soaked kind remark

Greeksta23 7

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:50

1) What was she doing looking through your window... I think she was looking for some action to be honest, I think you misjudged the look of 'disgust' it probably was a look of yearning. It's a great conversational starter; "Hey I'm your new neighbour, I enjoy masturbating and you're a nosy bitch" Simple, sweet and effective! Give it a few days you'll be best friends!