Intimacy: Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I...

By Anonymous - 14/03/2012 19:31 - United States

Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 877

You deserved it 33 086

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Same thing different taste

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 192

You deserved it 240

Caught in 404pp

By danggit3290 - 03/05/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "You know, I'm looking RIGHT at you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 032

You deserved it 89 510

Hey there!

By ohcrap - 08/11/2012 01:41 - United States

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 037

You deserved it 2 602

By inyobeddd - 02/05/2013 08:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 926

You deserved it 6 719

By pear8head - 08/08/2009 16:31 - United States

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 306

You deserved it 5 909

By anon - 15/09/2012 05:35 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 429

You deserved it 2 728

Late reaction

By fuck - 22/01/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 358

You deserved it 665

By JoeyDizz - 06/05/2009 03:41 - United States

Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 306

You deserved it 66 700

By Nell - 30/06/2011 21:10 - United States

Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 458

You deserved it 37 398

By Anonyme - 09/07/2011 00:11 - France

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 976

You deserved it 83 936

Calyx_fml 21

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:12

Go over and shake her hand in greeting.

glittercookies 12

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:14

Give her a look of disgust for being a voyeur!

Comments

Stupend0us 7

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:17

Close the blinds before you **********?

Isoldael 27

Thursday 15 March 2012 10:51

No, that's impossible, I mean, it would actually make sense!

Remzy27 0

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:18

Maybe that'll make things better, she might be interested in you

alexup24 13

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:20

awkward meet and greet.

hobosapien081 10

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:20

should have stared right into her eyes and finish :)

Meowingtons500 18

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:22

Close yo damn blinds!

DocBastard 38

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:22

"Hi, I'm your new neighbour. Nice to beat my meat to you...er, nice to meet you."

BostonBruinsFan 8

Thursday 15 March 2012 3:22

Doc, you usually are a Bastard, but this time, you are a winner!!

tfb4u 8

Thursday 15 March 2012 0:24

She shouldn't be looking in your windows.

SadDashie92 3

Thursday 15 March 2012 2:06

She's climbing in your window, she's snatching ur people up, tryin' to rape them, so y'all need to hide ur kids, hide ur wife, hide ur kids, hide ur wife..