Intimacy: Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained...

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By Username - 29/10/2010 23:15 - France

Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 696

You deserved it 5 900

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Same thing different taste

By unwanted daughter - 02/07/2014 15:54 - Canada - Oliver

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 224

You deserved it 5 857

Highly inappropriate

By Anonymous - 27/05/2013 22:15 - United States - Lehi

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 056

You deserved it 3 754

By SMS123 - 25/06/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 488

You deserved it 4 791

Pleased to meet you

By Cookie Monster nom nom - 17/05/2021 15:01 - United States

Today, I went out on a date with a cute girl. Everything was going great, until the food arrived. She not only shoveled food into her mouth like it was going to run away, she also smacked, sucked her fingers and laughed out loud with her mouth completely full. It was like dining with a 5-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 197

Meet the family

By OhMeGerd - 05/10/2012 14:56 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 481

You deserved it 29 030

Attention!

By choker - 14/03/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the checkout line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was OK. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 889

You deserved it 8 307

Picture perfect

By anonymous - 23/03/2009 19:22 - United States

Today, I was having lunch with my sister and my mother. While my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "Look at this!" then contorted her face so that she had a double chin. My mother looked over and said to her, "Stop making fun of your sister!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 887

You deserved it 5 401

By Anonymous - 13/01/2012 00:59 - United States

Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 893

You deserved it 3 063

Double entendre

By mel - 11/05/2012 21:23 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 034

You deserved it 3 164

By hungry - 12/02/2009 00:06 - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 687

You deserved it 3 509

XsianinvasionX 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 2:43

I love ur dad I wish mine was that cool

beguile 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 2:42

lol. that sucks.

Comments

hollyL 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 10:01

rofl does he know or was it just an odd comment?!

cvizzle 2

Saturday 30 October 2010 14:05

You should dress up as Kirby. xD

HEYbunny 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 14:40

that's dumb

Griggy 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 15:40

You're dad is a beast!!

justAskxx 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 16:46

Pfft, xD. Sheeeet, I WISH my dad were that fun xDD

cufaoil 11

Saturday 30 October 2010 19:03

your Dad is full of win... ...cest

omfgTACOsYeSs 0

Saturday 30 October 2010 22:20

your dad is my hero!!

randomlover 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 17:20

lmfao!! cool dad

xLibertinex 0

Monday 1 November 2010 16:22

how does your dad know you swallow?? that's not right...

fmlmang 0

Thursday 4 November 2010 22:26

dad= EPIC WIN

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You deserved it 9 469

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I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 121

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You deserved it 21 183

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I agree, your life sucks 3 763

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I agree, your life sucks 15 810

You deserved it 20 728

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I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 47