Animals: Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman said, "Nice dog!"... - FML

By Anonymous - 20/05/2009 20:22 - United States

Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman said, "Nice dog!" Without thinking, I replied, "You too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 291

You deserved it 44 873

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Same thing different taste

By emma_waters23 - 26/04/2013 00:11 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 825

You deserved it 6 005

Mistaken identity

By thedogwalker - 09/08/2020 08:02

Today, I was out walking my dog, when a lady called out to me asking, “Is that a boy or a girl?” Assuming she meant the dog, I told her that he was a boy. When I turned away, I heard her say to her kid, “I was talking about the person walking the dog, but whatever,” then audibly laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 500

You deserved it 209

Bad boy

By PicklesMcRaptor - 25/03/2012 11:59 - United States - Miami

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 710

You deserved it 3 587

By TrulyYours - 07/05/2009 12:39 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 556

You deserved it 5 913

By Anonymous - 25/04/2015 22:46 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we passed and I heard her say "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 630

You deserved it 2 699

Doggy dog world

By Whatever - 24/09/2021 08:00

Today, my self-esteem has gotten so low that when I was out walking my boss's dog and someone called out, "Beautiful!" I assumed they were talking about the dog. They had to clarify they were speaking about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 169

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 383

You deserved it 6 388

By anon - 19/06/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk. It became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman runs up to me and whacks me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 245

You deserved it 2 813

By Momo8612 - 21/04/2017 12:00

Today, while shopping for groceries, a small child pointed at my face and exclaimed : "DOGGIE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 686

You deserved it 306

By chris - 09/06/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 865

You deserved it 10 785

Next

Top comments

Minorchord 4

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:06

I bet she didn't have a dog, did she...

BitterJaded 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:10

If you think your life is ****** because of this.......wow. I'll trade you lives.

Comments

dr_house_MD 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:05

there must be a mistake, this belongs on www.mylifeisaverage.com

MyBloodSings 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:08

LOLZ! but how is a FML?!

misterman2 3

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:12

Ouch, yeah, I give that automatic response too. Usually when people wish me a happy birthday. XD

jSOPURE 3

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:16

I used to say things like that all the time when I worked at a fast-food joint. =X

anniesaysbueno 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:19

lol. i would have laughed if you said that to me. i dont see the fml part unless the girl ran away crying or something.

Virgin_Tea 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:25

When my grandpa comes over for his birthday dinner we all say "happy birthday" and he say "you too" with out even noticing. It cracks me up! So favoriting this!

mr_kurtz 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:28

Holy crap man I can't believe you said that to that poor woman!!!!!!! She must have been sooooo upset man I just really can't believe you said something like that! Your life is seriously f-ed.......i hate it when stupid fmls like this one get posted, what a waste of space

07_MKV 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:30

i have done this so many times, it just a natural reaction, lol

suaveneanderthal 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 6:49

lol so really? this got posted? cause if i posted an fml every time i slipped up whilst talking this would not be much of a website...

trapiadora 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 7:02

hahaha damn bet your not getting her number. I hope she didn't look like a dog.

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Keywords

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Today, my mom said if I dont get straight A's in my classes this year, she'll get the school to hold me back until I do. I believe her. FML

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Today, my cat peed on my stove. There’s multiple clean litter-boxes that he could have used instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

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Today, my vet prescribed Xanax for my very anxious dog, because he keeps me awake all night whining and pacing. He slept soundly for about an hour, then woke up, threw up all over my carpet, and went right back to whining and pacing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 809

You deserved it 1 708

Today, I had the pleasure of having a kidney stones removal procedure where they hammer your kidneys to break up the stones. Afterwards, the doctor called my wife over the intercom to come to back to the waiting room. She freaks out, runs back, and the doctor says, “I just wanted to show this stone. Cool huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 113

Today, while I was walking to class, I was hit by a car. The driver stopped to let me cross in front of her, started moving again, hit me, and then yelled at me, saying it was my fault for walking in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 051

You deserved it 695

Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum because I asked him to put away the leftovers from dinner. Yeah, because I guess me going to the grocery store, then preparing and serving the food AFTER working a 10 hour day wasn’t enough. Thanks babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 114