Miscellaneous: Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language,...

By M2thaM - 29/05/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 603

You deserved it 56 774

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Same thing different taste

By alisaav - 08/08/2014 07:40 - Thailand

Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 267

You deserved it 13 652

Cool moves

By littlegirl - 07/05/2011 04:46 - Canada

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 585

You deserved it 45 364

By spoony - 19/01/2009 05:32 - Australia

Today, while on a date with the guy of my dreams, I cut my tongue so bad it bled for an hour. I managed to cut it on the plastic spoon from my coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 428

You deserved it 3 056

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 16:47 - United States - Suwanee

Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 253

You deserved it 5 505

By justmyluck? - 18/02/2011 03:02

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 097

You deserved it 7 790

By ashhatches - 27/06/2011 19:15 - United States

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 426

You deserved it 62 560

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 145

First dates

By Tytonic - 20/01/2020 05:00 - United States - Havertown

Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 867

You deserved it 412

By Nick - 11/02/2010 18:35 - United States

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 496

You deserved it 5 583

By Mouhahaa - 09/05/2012 03:48 - France

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 655

You deserved it 36 372

Blue33_fml 0

Friday 29 May 2009 16:06

YDI for trying too hard

nautical 0

Friday 29 May 2009 16:04

Smoooooooooooth

Comments

plethora 3

Friday 29 May 2009 16:20

#5 Jalapenos in a cut? Ouch! Also: Fork biting? Not sexy.

were_giraffe 2

Friday 29 May 2009 16:25

do guys really like when people do that? I remember one of the girls in high school trying to lick her icecream at a guy to entice him. but um... it looked skanky

frodub 0

Friday 29 May 2009 16:27

next time try chewing on the napkin. that's really hot.

yer_maw 1

Friday 29 May 2009 16:29

who the **** calls 3rd and lmfao @ #13

jjjeah 0

Friday 29 May 2009 16:30

@ 13 - hahahahahha! Chewing on the napkin!

DarkMirror 0

Friday 29 May 2009 16:32

Yes, we all know that movies convey TRUE sex appeal, like their oh so realistic sex scenes. But maybe that's why we call them "movies" and not "reality"- except for some of the comedies, which your little flirt scene turned out to be.

rukusrazor 0

Friday 29 May 2009 16:33

#11 - Who forced her to eat jalapenos?

youaresofucked 0

Friday 29 May 2009 16:41

i just want to say that sounds really sexy and im sorry it went (quite badly!) wrong :(

elen25 0

Friday 29 May 2009 16:43

Why do people continue to correct the OP's misspelled words..who cares! Anyhow, I can see how the jajapenos could hurt your cut lip..that would seriously sting. Although, I say YDI for trying to impress the guy, nothing ever good comes out of that