Love: Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by...

By Jeff - 25/08/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 474

You deserved it 7 058

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/12/2011 02:02 - United Kingdom

Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 847

You deserved it 4 744

All kinds of wrong

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 14:01

Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 797

You deserved it 201

Catch 22

By Anonymous - 26/03/2021 20:01

Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 10:51 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 318

You deserved it 1 904

No means no

By Anonymous - 19/10/2022 22:00

Today, I got beat up at the bar. Why? I politely rejected a guy's sexual advances, so he turned to physical intimidation. I'm a soft-spoken 5'6 straight male. I've been ghosted by every woman I've talked to in the past two years. The only attention I've gotten is from men who can't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 120

By milkybear - 15/06/2010 07:11 - United States

Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 867

You deserved it 15 890

Sounds like a sitcom

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 16:00

Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 1 706

By ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - 24/05/2014 00:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 326

You deserved it 3 409

By BUSTED. - 01/12/2015 19:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 580

You deserved it 3 711

Ah yes, homophobic jokes, so funny

By Anonymous - 05/02/2021 05:01

Today, I was working at my desk when a colleague came over to my desk and said, “You loiter in gay bars”. I started having a panic attack because I thought he'd found out and would out me to my wife. Only when he began cracking up laughing did I realise it was a "joke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 2 107

Ligerie 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 23:05

Is wife code for "penis"?

Plumppotato 3

Tuesday 25 August 2009 23:05

did you tell him that?

Comments

curryndricegirll 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 23:52

FYL. just hang out at a gay bar, and you'll never have that problem again

aliabbiss 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 23:57

**** u for bein gay

trekkie44 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:17

**** you for being a dumbass

echarperouge 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:45

Isn't there a bridge somewhere that you're supposed to be gaurding?

Eltsc 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:46

You can stand up for what you believe in and still be a dumbass.

alexman6364 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:02

buy a gun and get a carry permit.

BLiNdZoRz 3

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:04

That's very similar to the one about that big guy telling some guy to stop following his girlfriend home from school but they were neighbours. FYL if this happened, GFY (go **** yourself) if you made it up.

FreakOnaLeash 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:08

You should die for being a fag.

URANIDIOTTTTT 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:12

"You should die for being a fag." you should die for saying that.

OhgodNeinna 1

Wednesday 26 August 2009 1:29

I'm surprised you managed to find the comment button with a mind like your's. As for the story, you'll probably never see him again (as people have stated) so it isn't an FML, but you did nothing to deserve it. A "Geez, that sucks." button would be useful on things like these.

nuke0000 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 11:19

you should die for being straight. it works both ways, bitch.

RAMBabyyy 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:13

Aliabbiss and Screwtaylor, take your ignorance elsewhere. #19, there is more than one kind of bar. Hooka bar, oxygen bar, etc. But yeah, I get what you're saying, since it was pretty apparent what kind of bar OP was at. But yeah, not too big of a deal, OP. These things happen. At least he didn't get more aggressive then that.

RAMBabyyy 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:14

FreakOnaLeash and Colonel_crunk, I have just added you to the chain of ignorance. Congrats. Keep 'em coming, ladies and gents!

djb23 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:17

everyone knows gay guys are just either too shy or ugly to get with girls so they have sex with each other... come on.. EDIT: did I make the chain?

echarperouge 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:52

Can't you try a little harder? Come on, where are your made up religious convictions? Or a sob story about being diddled by an uncle? FYL for being too incompitent even for internet trolling.

qetzacoatl122112 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 0:57

Obviously. If you aren't smart enough to see that I'm not very surprised you are such an ignorant asshole

djb23 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 4:20

god damn, all of you need to lighten up. it was a joke. pretending to be outraged at FML comments isn't gonna get those sticks out of your asses any sooner.