Love: Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by...

By Jeff - 25/08/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 474

You deserved it 7 058

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/12/2011 02:02 - United Kingdom

Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 847

You deserved it 4 744

All kinds of wrong

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 14:01

Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 797

You deserved it 201

Catch 22

By Anonymous - 26/03/2021 20:01

Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 10:51 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 318

You deserved it 1 904

No means no

By Anonymous - 19/10/2022 22:00

Today, I got beat up at the bar. Why? I politely rejected a guy's sexual advances, so he turned to physical intimidation. I'm a soft-spoken 5'6 straight male. I've been ghosted by every woman I've talked to in the past two years. The only attention I've gotten is from men who can't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 120

By milkybear - 15/06/2010 07:11 - United States

Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 867

You deserved it 15 890

Sounds like a sitcom

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 16:00

Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 1 706

By ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - 24/05/2014 00:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 326

You deserved it 3 409

By BUSTED. - 01/12/2015 19:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 580

You deserved it 3 711

Ah yes, homophobic jokes, so funny

By Anonymous - 05/02/2021 05:01

Today, I was working at my desk when a colleague came over to my desk and said, “You loiter in gay bars”. I started having a panic attack because I thought he'd found out and would out me to my wife. Only when he began cracking up laughing did I realise it was a "joke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 2 107

Ligerie 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 23:05

Is wife code for "penis"?

Plumppotato 3

Tuesday 25 August 2009 23:05

did you tell him that?

Comments

LordKoin772 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 1:36

You dont even like woman and they're still causin you trouble, woman always find a way XD. FYL man, hope u never see him again

RatIsKing 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 1:36

he was probably drunk...

brianjman14 22

Wednesday 26 August 2009 1:39

u shoulda punched him in the face and go like "what da fck u talkin bout, bitch", lol

youEQUALtosser 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 2:10

Did you give him a kiss?

Joe2794 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 2:49

Beat the ******* shit out of him and grow a pair instead of being gay.

dsnke1 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 2:55

too bad he didnt kill you, one less disgusting ****** on the planet

simplexalarms 7

Wednesday 26 August 2009 3:06

wow. aren't you nice. there is nothing wrong with being gay. jackass

whathajel 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 8:58

too bad that comment didn't kill you. that's one less ignorant bastard on the planet.

ohmandapants 16

Thursday 27 August 2009 4:02

too bad you didnt get hit by a bus the minute you stepped onto the street today. Don't worry. I'm sure it'll happen soon. Moron.

Russet 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 3:22

Not really a 'true' FYL, but in no way did YDI. I agree, having that happen to you would suck. But, at least on the bright side you'll most likely never have to deal with the angry man again. As for all of you complaining about the OP being gay - What century do you live in? I mean really. Open your mind up to new ideas. Accept people for who they are.

allison3838 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 3:45

stop saying he deserves it for being gay! its the close minded people like you that we have to blame for war and shit. There is NOTHING wrong with someone who is gay, and thats coming from someone who is straight! it's 2009, not 1800, ugh! as for you dude, sorry, no one should be hit, peace and love :P

StealthStorm67 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 4:59

homophobic people are the reason behind war? Or Close-minded people? Either way, that was a ludicrious statement at best. Then again, your Total "100% Non-Violence, peace/love" attitude implies that you're one of those Green-T, "Save-The-Whales" Vegan activists who tries to shove their beliefs down other peoples throats.

supermike33 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 8:21

People who hate gays and are close minded don't start wars you ******* dumbshit. I don't see a war against gays right now. Everybody starts wars, no matter what their beliefs are, war is just a part of life. "Nobody should get hit"? That's utter bullshit. Everybody needs to get hit so they don't become treehugging ******* like you.

Tr33Cat 6

Tuesday 5 May 2015 6:20

I love "treehugging" as in insult, as it shows a concern for the future rather than a selfish and wasteful use of the earth, and people believe still it to be insulting.

OhAnnie 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 4:43

Some of you seem to have some serious issues.... I guess the next time something shitty happens to you you'll deserve it for being an incompetent ass. But I realize that you’re probably just trying to get attention (clearly mommy and daddy don't give you enough), and when people are as immature as you all seem to be the easiest way to get that attention is by acting out in a negative way, since you clearly are too low to act out positively in any way.