Love: Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on...

By doesntkissalot - 28/08/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 336

You deserved it 6 082

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 04:23 - United States - Lafayette Hill

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 594

You deserved it 46 293

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 094

You deserved it 40 045

Tasty

By I wish it was gum - 23/10/2018 12:00

Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 053

You deserved it 684

By i fking love docb - 04/11/2012 21:16 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Christiansted

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 788

You deserved it 3 347

By Laura - 03/05/2012 07:55 - France

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 348

You deserved it 2 606

By Tootsy_Roll_Pop - 23/05/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 259

You deserved it 23 283

By cjk004 - 15/02/2009 11:35 - United States

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 764

You deserved it 6 627

By splitzville - 16/03/2010 20:12 - United States

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 965

You deserved it 40 875

By drpepperking10 - 02/07/2016 23:27 - United States

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 363

You deserved it 3 264

By Rollymouth - 02/09/2010 01:26 - France

Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 832

You deserved it 8 440

luigisf 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 23:24

10-that is right about...a *****. you're too young.

Jessi_the_sexii 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 23:25

only 19997 minutes to go(:

Comments

tcmate 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 3:50

that's because your 13. stop acting like you matter at 13.

ashleyh1122 5

Sunday 29 August 2010 4:19

yea I doubt that's even true. They just want u to buy their gum. Probs trying to make u think u will spend more time kissing if u buy their gum ;P

mitchiv13 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 4:27

hahahaha I've spent longer kissing than u and I'm 13 bitches!!!!!!!

ohwellyouknow 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 4:30

me too! :

hawty12345 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 4:31

148; wow ur a loser bragging about that. it's pathetic anyway I've had oral sex and I'm 12! beat dat xP

Freeze_fml 16

Sunday 29 August 2010 4:44

You're a ****.

myyprincessxo 4

Sunday 29 August 2010 4:53

150, oral sex at 12? your pathetic. I'm sorry. nothing to brag about. sorry Hun, nobodies impressed.

UpYoursInAdvance 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 4:55

150 I swear if you're serious then you might as well stop by my way cause I know some people that'll take advantage of girls like you.

happy_dino 6

Sunday 29 August 2010 5:23

Can someone say SLUUUUUT!!??!?!!? Damn 150! I'm 13 and I've never had a real relationship!! That is NOT something to be proud of... >:(

remy3106 10

Sunday 29 August 2010 6:06

yea u should at least wait until ur 15 like meee

Freeze_fml 16

Sunday 29 August 2010 6:08

Please die.

Schizomaniac 24

Sunday 29 August 2010 6:10

195, I think Freeze really wants you dead.

remy3106 10

Sunday 29 August 2010 6:20

I was joking, gosh!!! and I know lol Shitzomatic he really Hayes me and idk why

remy3106 10

Sunday 29 August 2010 6:22

hates*

remy3106 10

Sunday 29 August 2010 6:27

shitzomaniac** I fail!!!

mionee95 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 4:32

dont worry, you have plenty of time to catch up on those minutes :P and thats the "average" person, who wants to be average? just be yourself (:

happy_dino 6

Tuesday 7 September 2010 1:50

I totally agree!! (:

Spierdalaj 7

Sunday 29 August 2010 4:44

I'm 17 and I've spent 0 mins. The opportunity has come up several times but I was never intereted in the guys. It doesn't bother me. :)

xXxbiancaxXx 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 4:47

how old are u?!!!?? if you've only spent three min kissing?!? O.O

UpYoursInAdvance 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 4:50

OKay???.... And why did this get published?!?!?!???

DontHateMeBecaus 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 4:59

wow sadly me too but I'm 13 so I have all my life.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 338

Today, my marriage is more or less over, as my wife is so career-obsessed that when I asked if we could spend some time together, she rolled her eyes and gave me permission to sleep with other women, since sex is all I think about. I didn’t ask for sex, just time together. Definitely over I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 920

You deserved it 190

The Top

Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 621

You deserved it 38 372

Today, after weeks of doubt and pondering the pros and cons, I finally broke up with my girlfriend, and she burst into tears. Feeling guilty, I tried to console her by saying, "Don't worry, we can still be cousins." FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 810

Today, a girl came up and hugged me. At first I was frightened, but then I asked who she was. Turns out she was the kid I babysat for 3 years. She cried when she realized I didn't remember her, then threw gravel in my face and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 278

You deserved it 15 996

Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 357

You deserved it 3 275

Today, while practicing my gymnastics routine on the uneven bars, I was so distracted by my teammates' conversation about a party later that I miscalculated my flip and smacked my head on a bar. Ten stitches and a concussion later, I was left alone in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 660

You deserved it 15 642

Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 979

You deserved it 2 943

Same thing different taste

Tasty

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