Miscellaneous: Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house,...

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By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 718

You deserved it 3 660

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Same thing different taste

Drive-by casualty

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Fairfax

Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 039

You deserved it 2 726

By djshahso - 26/02/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 670

You deserved it 47 025

By bettercallpeta - 15/02/2013 05:42 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 091

You deserved it 11 155

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 977

You deserved it 3 990

By peanutprobs - 31/10/2014 21:12 - Germany - Bochum

Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 901

You deserved it 3 340

By Rizma - 27/11/2014 15:12 - France - Grâces

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 996

You deserved it 4 576

By Natalie - 01/04/2011 18:16 - United States

Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 071

You deserved it 4 278

Call the cops!

By epipen life - 10/03/2019 16:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 623

You deserved it 237

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 11:06 - United States - Maryville

Today, I got hit by a stray cantaloupe. That's not a typo. I hate my neighbors' kids with a burning passion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 508

You deserved it 1 358

By stuckwithafamilyofcunts - 27/04/2013 20:23 - Spain - El Puig

Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 659

You deserved it 3 680

anniemeece 23

Wednesday 26 August 2009 8:25

Why on earth would he do that? D:

JJ88 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 8:25

Little kids are dicks today, I blame mtv and disney. You should have said something that would have sent him crying lol

Comments

ummeowmix 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 9:44

hahaha thats so funny! lmao

lottofee 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 9:48

it would drive me nuts!

jemsmej 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 15:00

see what you did there? :P

McLaughlane 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 9:49

What a poorly-adjusted little snot. FYL....funny though :)

Major_General 10

Wednesday 26 August 2009 10:10

Surprisingly, I'm with the kid on this one.

jdb2009 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 10:34

Man, I would have started rolling around on the ground playing like I was dying to lure him in and when got within grabbing distance I'd yell "YOU'RE ******* DEAD YOU LITTLE ****", grabbed him and smack the shit out of him. Punk. Wait a sec, how did he know you were allergic to peanuts or was that a coincidence? ...hm...

ElMundio87 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 10:50

I'd blow the kids head off with a shotgun while screaming "I HOPE THIS KILLS YOU".

curryndricegirll 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 16:34

ahahaha! that has got to be the funniest thing i've ever read

hi5534 3

Sunday 30 August 2009 3:37

lolomgwthbbq??~

2005KonaScrapp 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 10:54

Ydi

spacer_ 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 10:55

ahaa when I was a kid our next door neighbours wouldn't give our ball back so my sister and I chalked "silly bobs and stupid babs" all over their driveway. I love kids. OP probs offended him in some way and definitely deserved it. Just cause he's a kid doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings!