Love: Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if...

By Unlucky - 25/07/2012 13:03 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 871

You deserved it 3 618

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Same thing different taste

By bootycall:( - 15/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 943

You deserved it 1 270

By Anonymous - 04/02/2015 16:06 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 837

You deserved it 4 855

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 22/09/2009 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 322

You deserved it 17 158

By timor - 18/12/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 803

You deserved it 4 871

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 15:31 - United States - Middleboro

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by handing me a ring and saying "Let's get this dumb shit over and done with." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 059

You deserved it 1 908

Emotional rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 29/06/2023 14:00 - United States - Greeley

Today, my boyfriend of four years proposed to me and I said yes. A few hours later, I found out he's been talking to multiple other girls for about three months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 110

By justthinkofyourhand - 13/07/2014 22:36 - United States - Salida

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 571

You deserved it 4 973

Heavy rotation

By shescomfortablynumb - 05/06/2009 07:49 - United States

Today, I had a third date with a great guy. Over dinner, he told me that he wanted to see more of me. When I agreed, he pulled out his schedule book and started to tell me he was dating 5 other women besides me. He then told me what week in the "rotation" would be mine. He wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 853

You deserved it 4 791

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 13:25 - United States - Evansville

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a little over a week proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 023

You deserved it 3 211

You snooze, you lose

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 22:00

Today, I got turned down by the person who has been wanting to date me for five months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 1 073

OhDearBetrayal 25

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:00

Make sure you read the fine print.

ApologyKick 25

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:01

That's kinda cute don't you think? Hopefully he wasn't being serdead serious though.

Comments

ebonyirony 29

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:42

Sheldon? The relationship agreement?

LtBrenton 16

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:42

The awkward moment when you realize you're dating Sheldon Cooper. ...Bazinga.

Megan98 18

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:45

I'd leave him right then and there. That's really strange.

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:46

Did you also have to sign it with your blood?

MooseKnuckle503 11

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:47

Never can be to careful now days

amyybr 0

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:47

did u sign?

BrysGirl27 14

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:49

Maybe he was just being funny:) haha sounds like he has a sense of humor:)...or he is just really creepyD: haha

holeyman 8

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:50

He probably had to, so his mom would believe him

dirton89 7

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:50

The pre nup before the pre nup -_-

AnagenisisZagus 13

Wednesday 25 July 2012 19:55

He's smart. Make that shit official. Hope you read the fine print!

Keywords

Weddings Awkward Miscellaneous My ex Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument Parenting Kids Thanksgiving Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Work Money

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 493

You deserved it 15 058

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 653

The Top

Today, I wet my pants at the grocery store. I didn't feel like I had to go until I was inside. The embarrassing thing (besides me being 37)? I actually made it to the store's public bathroom and made it to the toilet, but my belt was on so tightly that I had to undo it and it doesn't work like an ordinary belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 314

Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 200

Today, some construction workers kept going in and out the door next to my cubicle. They decided it would be easier to just prop the door open for the next hour. It's 20 degrees outside, and I'm wearing a dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 337

You deserved it 6 902

Today, I was outside carving pumpkins with my kids in the grass in my apartments. This rabid Karen starting screaming about the mess we were making. First of all, we were putting the pulp in a bag; second, she lets her dog bark all night and never cleans up it’s shit whenever it goes on our property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 96

Today, I went to the gym. Once in the changing room, I realized I'd left my headphones at home. I had to work out without any music, so I spent the next 90 minutes being reminded how loud and obnoxious some gym-goers can be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 676

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 599

You deserved it 9 131