By jibberish - 22/11/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks 15 693
You deserved it 39 006
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Top comments

allmidnighteyes 10

YDI for hooking up with a Twilight fan. Stupid ******* misogynistic shit like that should NEVER be passed off as actual literature. The whole series can pretty much summed up with, "EDWARD CULLEN WAS SO HAWT I CAME GLITTER" I wish I could be a deranged mormon housewife so I could make millions off a book series - based off creepy sexual fantasies for a sparkling douchenozzle - that glorifies/romanticizes shallow relationships based on lust, stalking, and werewolves falling in love with baby children.

106 14
ScaredyCat 2

you deserve it for not being turned off by a girl into "Twatlight"

79 12

Comments

Ketsuhime 0

try doing it with a narutard

2 0
Ambyrawr 0

Lmao I think thats the best thing I've ever heard about Naruto =] Cheers for the awesome insult ^-^

0 0
Xarlugia 0

done that, but then again I'm 1 too :P

0 0
jjcooper 0

that's why I don't like twilight

0 0
alwaysalady 0

And this is why twilight girls are nuts. You never hear of Harry Potter fanc biting eachother.

5 0
canadian101 0

Exactly. You won't see a harry potter trying to cast a spell or whatever. Twilight is just stupid. Don't get me wrong, I have read it...and I hated it. It's just so immature!

1 0
Kylias 6

You think you won't see Harry Potter fans casting spells on each other? http://www.mylifeisaverage.com/ Read and be amazed. Don't get me wrong though; I agree that Twilight is quite possibly the worst thing to happen to the world of literature. C:

1 0
canadian101 0

i meant the majority of fans don't cast spells....For every book there are weirdos. Far too many twilight fans obsess to no end. The worst part is that Twilight is pretty much some of the first books many of these people have read...Girls who wouldn't be caught dead reading are now calling themselves "Mrs Cullen"

0 0
lifeislife_fml 0

Harry Potter fans may cast spells, but not seriously. Twitards however, take their obsession very seriously.

0 0
kitten1323 19

Everyone on this site needs to stop ******* steriotyping!!!! I read twilight and I'm not crazy! yeah I'll admit there are some ******* nutjob twilight fans but I'm not one of them so for everyone saying "all twilight fans are nuts" (not an exact quote but you get the point) **** YOU!

0 5
lifeislife_fml 0

Yeah...you kind of just contradicted yourself by posting that.

1 0
z411811 0

@kitten1323 ******* calm down it's the Internet. People are assholes when they can be annomous. Quit getting angry at something some twelve year old writes and go buy yourself a twilight ***** and pleasure yourself with it. ( yes they do have those)

3 0
HarperGirl 4

wow just wow the length some people will go to i am a book maniac and i absloutely love romances especially the eroitic ones but i have not got around to reading that serious yet but i have wtched the movie and i admit the characters are hot but wow some people go way to far, i mean seriously a twilight sex toy? really? AND I AM A 17 YEAR OLD GIRL

0 0
spellfire 0

:D You know what someone said..."People may share a drink, a house, a bed, but only doing silly things together indicates a true intimacy." Alas, OP is not a Twilight fan, hence the FML. Also, ahaha, if you think Harry Potter fans are not casting spells, then you haven't been reading MLIA. >:D There were plenty of posts there like "I pointed my pen at a leaf and shouted, Wingardium Leviosa! The wind blew, the leaf flew, everyone thinks I'm a wizard now." or, "I pointed at a guy in a hall and shouted, Avada Kedavra! And he fell to the floor, pretending to be dead. I love him." Those things bond people! Although, if someone shouted "Avada Kedavra" in the same room with me, I'd probably dive to the floor and seek cover, same as when people hear gunshots...

0 0
drkwlf 0

Just because she's into Twilight doesn't mean she was biting you because of that you ******* dolt.

1 0
literalmanchild 0

drunk or not you should know to not hook up with a twilight fan. it's like cruising for ass at a mental hospital. nothing good can come of it

1 0
wellthatsucks 0

O.o Crazy bitch!!! That's what happens when you sleep with those people obsessed with Twilight.

1 0
noclevername 0

The two weren't necessarily connected, biting is fun. You've never had a hickey from a girl who didn't read Twilight? Also, I've never read Twilight and don't want to, but the extent to which people complain about it is a bit ridiculous. There's no harm in a bit of brain candy (otherwise you wouldn't be on this site). If you don't like it, don't read it or see the films. Problem solved!

1 0