Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night....

By nopissleft - 20/12/2013 21:05 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 023

You deserved it 2 925

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By why me - 24/10/2017 01:30

Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 315

You deserved it 287

Put it all back

By WTFwhywouldyoudothat - 22/08/2011 22:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully, they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 087

You deserved it 4 377

Paranoia

By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 00:00 - Australia

Today, when I got up for work, I went into the bathroom and saw a coat hanger sitting in the crack of the window. I had a panic attack, thinking someone had tried to break in and grabbed a knife. I ran into the room where my boyfriend was sleeping and he said he put it there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 295

Surprise!

By BadKitty - 11/09/2016 13:37 - Australia - Invermay

Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 939

You deserved it 1 278

These must be yours

By Anonymous - 14/09/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, I was doing laundry when my downstairs neighbour knocked on my door and handed me some knickers. Apparently, it had flown off the clothesline and landed on his head while he was sweeping outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 106

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 16:01

Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 140

By Anonymous - 30/07/2015 01:50 - United States - Schenectady

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 015

You deserved it 3 185

By Noname - 13/03/2009 03:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 784

You deserved it 54 240

By LostSleep - 24/05/2016 21:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken at 4 a.m. by the sounds of someone crashing down the stairs. I scrambled out, still half-asleep, to find out that nobody was in an agonized heap at the bottom. The walls are so thin in my house that I could hear the neighbour falling down HIS stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 750

You deserved it 786

Freaky

By Anonymous - 28/01/2016 20:24 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I was there with the lights out when something ran across my foot. I freaked out, tried to kick it off, and ended up smashing my foot into the side of the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 404

You deserved it 3 188

Welshite 39

Saturday 21 December 2013 2:01

Here's Johnny!

firebirds118 11

Saturday 21 December 2013 2:07

"Officer, somebody embedded an axe in my door and then peed in my underwear"

Comments

1947Chevy 17

Saturday 21 December 2013 2:54

You may want to contact police over that

bernardbrown 7

Saturday 21 December 2013 4:58

Or buy a gun. That helps too.

nightbirdblue 27

Saturday 21 December 2013 12:35

Or booby trap your door with explosives.

Axipiter 24

Saturday 21 December 2013 18:47

Or BEAR TRAPS!

AloysiusWeasley 15

Sunday 29 December 2013 0:18

Dear god, that. Who the hell did OP piss off?

cesarporto 7

Saturday 21 December 2013 2:55

You guys must be really axe-cited to get these jokes out

Jarelk 3

Saturday 21 December 2013 2:57

Cool, free axe!

Kershaw45 9

Saturday 21 December 2013 2:58

That sucks man.

MyUsernameKatie 31

Saturday 21 December 2013 2:59

People suck

davek 36

Saturday 21 December 2013 3:05

Vikings?

buckdharma 37

Saturday 21 December 2013 3:08

Hang your Christmas wreath and some lights on it. The guy will think your crazy and leave you alone.

JoshDFTBA 3

Saturday 21 December 2013 3:24

Did you forget to play Jazz music?

Gittoh 21

Saturday 21 December 2013 3:48

awww man! not again!

SamCat 21

Saturday 21 December 2013 3:49

Be careful Op, just because you are sane it means others are too. The crazies are everywhere. I had a neighbor who punched a hole through my front door. Cops recommended I move for my safety after he broke my living room windows too. So much for keeping about my business. Good luck!