Insects and Health: Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only... - FML

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 16:34 - United States

Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 455

You deserved it 6 916

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Ticked off

By Sarah220 - 12/07/2010 04:31 - United States

Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 577

You deserved it 3 301

New, from Goop

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 669

You deserved it 3 936

By Luna - 22/07/2012 02:30 - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 690

You deserved it 3 530

Hello little dude

By Anonymous - 19/05/2012 22:54 - United States

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 573

You deserved it 2 864

By crayons128 - 24/01/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 051

You deserved it 6 600

Yucky!

By theapplesleader - 23/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 3 822

A visitor

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 12:00 - Germany - Leer

Today, I had a walk-in: a tiny tick, crawling through my bathroom window, looking down at me in the shower, wondering whether I might be tasty. The window was closed, by the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 108

By santasadiekins - 17/08/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 706

You deserved it 4 864

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 891

You deserved it 4 041

By Firepants - 28/08/2010 16:04 - Canada

Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 499

You deserved it 4 119

Next

Top comments

Richisme 0

Tuesday 10 August 2010 23:12

fire wins all the time

MusicXisXii 0

Tuesday 10 August 2010 23:15

Fire is how you kill them. You can get them off with tweezers. Just make sure you don't leave ANY part of the tick inside of your skin or on your eyelash or whatever.

Comments

olive47_fml 0

Friday 24 June 2011 8:28

no u dumb bitch! take tweasers and grab it by the head. SMH

jaynicolew7 0

Friday 25 November 2011 5:28

Tweezers, tard.

NerdsWillRule 3

Friday 2 December 2011 14:51

Um. You realize you could just cut it off right?

rich106 1

Friday 10 February 2012 8:20

ll@LTip ?

kiki122012 5

Wednesday 14 March 2012 1:49

Ever heard of tweezers then fire?

smileycupcake62 4

Thursday 15 March 2012 3:29

use cuticle scissors and trim your eyelashes, or squish it with an eyelash curler:)

jbuczek1 0

Saturday 31 March 2012 5:56

You only need fire if it's on your skin. Otherwise, pull away...

BlondeForever101 6

Saturday 2 June 2012 5:42

Holding alcohol on a Qtip is what made them fall off my beagle all the time.Then crush them with a rock.Or burn them.

KtKD54 2

Sunday 8 July 2012 22:45

Ive had one on the back of my neck and i just pulled it up

crapazoidburg 0

Monday 30 July 2012 6:14

Tweezers.

12
13
14
15
16
17

Keywords

Surprise Love Cute Awkward My ex Texting Wanker Intimacy Sex Mental health Health Insomnia Sleep Food Cooking Kids Parents Weekend Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Work Embarrassing Technology Coworkers Zoom Argument Roommate Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, it appears that the cousin who burglarized my house and threatened to kill my wife, daughter, and me during a meth binge is more welcome at a family reunion than we are. We were assured last year by family that this wouldn't happen, because we are "good people who have wronged no one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 207

You deserved it 219

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 829

You deserved it 42 634

The Top

Today, I was with my girlfriend at lunch when a group of guys came over. They started calling her a whore and a bunch of other shit, so I cussed them out. Turns out she was not only cheating on me, but all the other guys too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 934

You deserved it 2 245

Today, my sister and I were planning a trip to get away from things and visit some faraway friends. My dad then decided to insert himself into our plans. He got mad when we said no, and couldn't understand why we wanted to go by ourselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 798

You deserved it 2 562

Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. When they started playing my favorite song I whipped out my video camera and sang along. As I was reviewing the video later, I realized that I couldn't even hear the band over my horrible singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 687

You deserved it 42 576

Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 190

You deserved it 3 269

Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 509

You deserved it 3 558

Today, it's the first day that my overbearing and too-controlling parents are gone on a 2-week-long vacation, trusting me enough to take care of the house while they're gone. So far, I've broken a plate (it was in the microwave less than a minute before it exploded) and the power's gone out. Bad omens? FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 167