Work: Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was... - FML

By bad luck? - 19/01/2012 05:44 - Australia

Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 123

You deserved it 2 682

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Same thing different taste

Trigger happy

By Anonymous - 13/06/2020 05:00

Today, I was shot and arrested for trespassing. I'm a firefighter and I was saving a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 396

You deserved it 118

Work until you drop dead

By Anonymous - 17/06/2022 16:00

Today, my ex shot me. Actually shot me. After I woke up from surgery, I told my manager I would obviously need sick leave. She told me she was shot in the army, and got over it because she’s "not a pussy", so she expects me back at work, recovering from a gunshot to the chest, by Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297

You deserved it 106

By BOHICA123 - 08/10/2013 02:08 - United States - Brighton

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 185

You deserved it 5 288

By AtLeastThereWasAParamedic - 02/03/2017 20:00

Today, I was walking on the sidewalk near my house when a car pulled out of a parking spot in front of a speeding ambulance. The ambulance swerved up onto the grass. Yes, I broke my arm after being hit by an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 931

You deserved it 433

By Jim - 09/10/2017 13:00

Today, I was walking to the bus for my first day at my new school. I tripped in the darkness and split my chin open and broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 354

You deserved it 277

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 553

You deserved it 2 553

The precious truck

By Anonymous - 05/09/2021 11:00

Today, I got fired because, while responding to an emergency page for the volunteer fire department to help find a man in a field with a gunshot wound, I backed into a rock with the company truck that I drive to and from work. Nobody asked about the guy with the bullet inside him. He's OK now, in case anyone cares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 166

Kids…

By guessimdead - 19/04/2009 23:07 - United States

Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 114

You deserved it 3 721

By red_headforlife - 28/09/2012 05:34 - United States - Chandler

Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time, and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 296

You deserved it 2 541

By Tey - 22/12/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 921

You deserved it 17 854

Next

Top comments

lifesucks1234567_fml 2

Thursday 19 January 2012 12:23

**** you for trying to be funny.

MrsDepp 12

Thursday 19 January 2012 12:11

Except it's 000 in Australia

Comments

SexyEmoGirl 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 14:29

Thts gotta suck ass, but hey, at least u knew how to treat it ;) theres an upside

emmiex3 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 14:29

And I thought I had it bad when I was spit in the face on my first day as a police officer. Sorry, OP.

anelelabel 6

Thursday 19 January 2012 14:32

Icing it would most likely not make a gunshot wound go away.

smoke_eater05 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 14:39

Shitty! I kinda remember my first day...that's why we carry vests in our ambulances

PeypeyTheBeeotch 1

Thursday 19 January 2012 14:42

Who shot you?!:0

BrickWalls 2

Thursday 19 January 2012 14:45

Op Shit happens, but in that line of work it shouldn't consist of getting shot in the arm ;/ PS: Pull out a Mk14 you should be ok :)

Cartera 10

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:12

At least you got immediate care. That's not something people can just shrug off.

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:12

You used to be a paramedic once, but then you took a bullet in the....nah, I hope it wasn't that easy to stop you. At least you were conveniently close to help!

savfd645 7

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:16

Part of the job sometimes OP :)

Snafuusmc 12

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:17

Call for a medic....

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 090

You deserved it 13 428

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 580

You deserved it 5 576

The Top

Today, I was suspended from work. Some lady went to the manager and told them that I was stalking her, all because I would kindly greet her everyday at the grocery store. I'm the cashier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 948

You deserved it 2 173

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 697

You deserved it 57 622

Today, I met a woman at a bar, and we went back to my place with her whispering many filthy things in my ear. Then my key broke inside the lock. It was 2 a.m. and freezing, and she was in a dress, I suggested a hotel, but she was now so cold and angry, she got back in our Uber which hadn't left yet and went home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 342

Today, I overheard my wife tell her sister how much she hates how hairy I’ve become since becoming middle-aged, and can barely bring herself to touch me when I’m naked. First I’m hearing of it, and I’d have waxed if she asked me to, but instead she bitches to her sister and humiliates me. I’m so done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 856

You deserved it 245

Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 740

You deserved it 2 921

Today, my flatmate moved in with me. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, so did her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 823

You deserved it 239