Love: Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend...

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By Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 995

You deserved it 4 323

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Same thing different taste

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 621

You deserved it 397

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 115

You deserved it 41 527

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 928

You deserved it 10 331

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 587

You deserved it 4 545

By allgassedout - 04/01/2015 00:23 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 402

You deserved it 7 348

By Gas-pingForAir - 19/09/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 795

You deserved it 1 673

Ouch!

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 987

You deserved it 5 275

Creeped out

By HadToApologize - 03/11/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 391

You deserved it 23 101

Really heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 17/12/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 144

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 519

You deserved it 67 474

ThatGenericGuy 6

Friday 2 September 2011 23:44

Admit it, that turned you on.

enonymous 8

Friday 2 September 2011 23:48

She probably has to put up with your Dutch ovens. Only fair

Comments

gymnstemily92 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 0:54

Grody!!!

cupcakesnpot 9

Saturday 3 September 2011 0:59

Did you?... Did you lick them a little?

ngarcia333 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 0:29

U nasty perv!

perdix 29

Saturday 3 September 2011 1:38

You need to find a girl who can control her gag reflex. Unless you have a tiny dick, and then it doesn't matter.

romkuglen 1

Saturday 3 September 2011 1:51

Whine! She is human just like you...

Rach227 8

Saturday 3 September 2011 1:53

All girls underneath are just like guys, but we're expected to cover it up, she's only human ease off a little

beebeeL 1

Saturday 3 September 2011 2:02

LmfaoooOo

Cheesecakee 11

Saturday 3 September 2011 2:10

Thats...disgusting

nstybtch 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 2:13

Ewe gross

ABrighterDay 3

Saturday 3 September 2011 2:18

Deodorant works for everyone.

Rachlx 1

Saturday 3 September 2011 2:20

Since she thought you were sleeping, she easily could have had plans to shower at a later time because she didn't want to wake you up.

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Today, I summoned the courage to tell this guy how I felt after weeks of the talking stage. I told him that I wanted to know where this was going. He responded by saying, “This is not going anywhere unless you lose at least 50 pounds… but you’re a great friend with an amazing personality though.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 312

Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 189

The Top

Today, at my sister's wedding, I got my 15 month-old son to 'sign' the big guest book. I gave him a pen and was hoping for a cute little squiggle or something. But no, he managed to draw something that looked uncannily like a big swastika. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 030

You deserved it 13 757

Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 343

You deserved it 7 353

Today, I asked my landlady if she could fix the air conditioner that's been broken since I moved in. Instead, she came round and took away my bathroom mirror, along with all the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 605

You deserved it 2 258

Today, I met up with my dad for the first time in 7 years. We planned to go to a nice restaurant but he changed the place we were going to, to Chuck E. Cheese. I'm 18 years old. I waited an hour for him to show up. I then ended up babysitting his daughter the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 982

You deserved it 1 616

Today, I was at the library doing research for my midterm. All of the computers were in use, so I decided to use my laptop instead. Ten minutes later, I was confronted and kicked out. My offense? Unauthorized use of the library's so-called "Free Public WiFi". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 104

You deserved it 3 185

Today, I went over to confront my parents about how my siblings always get to visit and all I do when I’m over is work on their house or take care of grandma. My mom was very upset. Then she snuck out with my sister, leaving me to take care of grandma until she got back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 833

You deserved it 154

Same thing different taste

Ouch!

Creeped out

Really heavy sleeper

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