Intimacy: Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and... - FML

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:14 - United States - Athens

Spicy

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 097

You deserved it 3 676

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/12/2018 12:00

Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 703

You deserved it 502

By fmlskank93 - 01/09/2010 11:10 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 781

You deserved it 4 626

She's got it going on!

By Heartbroken - 08/08/2018 07:00 - United States

Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 453

You deserved it 237

By thatisnotcool45 - 09/12/2011 05:22 - Canada

Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 126

You deserved it 2 722

By Anonymous - 02/11/2015 08:01 - United States - San Jacinto

Spicy

Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 703

You deserved it 3 556

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 19/09/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 1 222

By Anonymous - 22/07/2015 20:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 228

You deserved it 5 757

By Noname - 06/02/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 634

You deserved it 18 550

Small world

By ShouldICallYouDaddy - 30/04/2016 11:49 - United Kingdom - Grantham

Spicy

Today, I discovered that the "hot, slutty, woman" my roommate has been dating is my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 348

You deserved it 2 421

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 953

You deserved it 4 797

Next

Top comments

Rkikkas9713 25

Wednesday 22 April 2015 22:36

The only logical thing to do now is to **** his mother.

EvilLittleGirl 24

Wednesday 22 April 2015 22:34

when "yo momma" jokes are too realistic....

Comments

DorLeon 14

Thursday 23 April 2015 8:40

who's your daddy? :P FYL OP

Dendrocker 15

Thursday 23 April 2015 9:28

Finch?

RockstarJAy 16

Thursday 23 April 2015 9:36

He sounds like a ************. Oh wait..

asiakvt 10

Thursday 23 April 2015 9:43

Mother of the year award goes to...

VbPretend 7

Thursday 23 April 2015 9:43

Are you going to respond by calling him Daddy?

migmit 11

Thursday 23 April 2015 10:09

Do you prefer a complete stranger ******* your mom?

princessplatinum 8

Thursday 23 April 2015 10:59

Ouch. I'm sorry you were friends with that douche.

moshpit11 8

Thursday 23 April 2015 13:53

MILF MILF MILF MILF

norisorroz 28

Thursday 23 April 2015 14:29

Wow, this is so bad... No words

SyLord 13

Thursday 23 April 2015 15:26

I nailed my friends mom once. I went over to visit him, he wasn't home, his mom invited me in to talk, and one thing lead to another... all I go to say is Wow! Some older women are great in bed. Kinky as hell too! Funny thing was that my friend, when he found out about it, was cool with it.

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Keywords

Holidays Miscellaneous Family Thanksgiving Politics Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Cars Contraception Love Suspicious Cheating Pregnancy Christmas Scary Sex Awkward Weddings Embarrassing Singing My ex Friends Jealousy Health Poopoo peepee Relatable Mental health Therapy Covid

The Top

Today, my girlfriend, who used to have the sex drive of a rabbit on Viagra, has recently lost all interest. It turns out that because her dad finally approves of me, she’s no longer interested in me. Apparently she only lusted after me when her dad didn’t like me, so now I’m of no interest to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 122

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 670

You deserved it 4 364

The Top

Today, my best friend's boyfriend stole her car, so now she wants my car, the one that I just bought from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 660

You deserved it 142

Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 517

You deserved it 4 064

Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Reilly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explainable stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 157

You deserved it 3 436

Today, my 5 year-old and I walked in on a girl giving her boyfriend a blow job in the washroom at the playground. Last week we found a crack pipe on the picnic table. So many conversations I wish we could have waited for… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 166

Today, as I was putting some dishes away, I spilled water on the floor. While walking around the dishwasher, I slipped on said water, and after going to urgent care, found out I tore my meniscus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 531

You deserved it 223

Today, I had to run a timed mile. I'm terrible at running. During the run, I thought I was doing a good job. That is, until the teacher told me to stop because I was three laps behind everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 931

You deserved it 6 243