Animals: Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to...

By MacGrouber - 17/03/2011 00:12 - United States

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 848

You deserved it 4 749

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/04/2019 00:00

Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 035

You deserved it 293

By weep weep weep - 12/03/2012 03:04 - United States

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 926

You deserved it 3 850

Enjoy the sirens

By Anonymous - 17/03/2023 04:00

Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 195

By Anonymous - 15/02/2016 17:04 - United States - Athena

Today, the car across the street has been broken into so many times that my parrot has started to mimic its car alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 929

You deserved it 1 727

Bird song

By Anonymous - 23/10/2019 20:00

Today, I figured I've been watching too many horror films, due to my parrot mimicking a women's blood-curdling screams that he heard in a movie. How do I know? He decided to reproduce the screams at 3 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 574

You deserved it 437

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 972

You deserved it 12 963

Wake up Boo

By Anon - 03/12/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I set an elaborate alarm system to wake up early. I woke up to the soothing sounds of birds chirping, only to discover that I had accidentally set my ringtone to bird noises instead of an actual alarm. I missed my morning meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 527

By 4am blues - 13/07/2015 04:39 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4 a.m.; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 338

You deserved it 2 565

By birdhater - 15/10/2009 06:16 - Australia

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 867

You deserved it 2 667

Freedom!

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 514

ViolentBears 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 8:19

Now all you have to do is make it learn a police siren and you'll be set with a watch bird.

MyChemical_fml 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 8:16

Aw that's cute... Right...? :l

Comments

Xxak907xX 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 22:00

I hate birds. My grandma had a parrot, it bit my ear and pretty much pierced it for free. I'm a guy

beaker38 5

Thursday 17 March 2011 22:22

should have taught him to make a siren noise

luckyclover53 0

Friday 18 March 2011 0:26

that would've been neat, sirens at 3 am...be just like a fire alarm.

urbangladiator3 0

Friday 18 March 2011 0:42

Maybe you should get a dog or cat. maybe even a fish

MsSoulReaper 27

Friday 18 March 2011 0:49

Nature's a bitch.

huggy515 0

Friday 18 March 2011 1:52

Train him to detect carbon monoxide.

SassiestLemon 2

Friday 18 March 2011 2:02

I recall seeing an FML related to a fire alarm at 3am. Anyone else remember that?

quicheme45 0

Friday 18 March 2011 2:25

Lol good birdy

TurboLCR 0

Friday 18 March 2011 2:41

I'd have probably gone down with a lighter and some deodorant and toast the ignorant ****** 

brendangep 0

Friday 18 March 2011 4:18

Bird is the word!:)

kykyshay 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 3:21

Family Guy Rocks!!! :-)

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The Top

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

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Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

The Top

Today, I learned that the $30 plant that I've been tediously tending to and extremely proud of for thriving is actually just a subspecies of ragweed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 119

You deserved it 460

Today, I went to spend some time with my family. Unbeknownst to me, while I was having quality time with my family, my boyfriend of a year and a half was packing up his belongings and going back to his estranged wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 226

Today, my uncle called me at work, telling me to rush him to the doctor's. I get home and he doesn't"t want to go anywhere. He says he has the chills, so I turn on the furnace. Next he says he's too hot, and stripped to his underwear. I ask him to let me take him to doctor. He does nothing. Work is expecting me to bring a doctor's note tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 124

Today, my husband has been texting women to see if he can go out on a date with one of them, just because I’ve befriended his friend and apparently, the movie and food I got with the friend was a first date, so now he wants to get even. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 2 321

Today, I got drunk and tried to talk with my crush. I ended up telling her that she reminded me of my nieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 873

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 438

You deserved it 3 297