By screwed - 30/10/2009 21:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 021
You deserved it 5 443

Same thing different taste

Top comments

If that's not the definition of a douche, I don't know what is.

perdix 29

Your manic side deserves better than that jerk, but he was out of you depressive side's league.

Comments

I bet the initial question was just a test to see which side of you he was speaking to. Kinda like shining a flashlight into a dark, scary basement during a power outage because you heard a very loud noise down there. Making sure the "coast is clear" pays off sometimes. Still, it was kind of a cowardly and cold way to handle it. Surely you're not *that* scary...

He was hoping you would say that you love him for his huge hunk of man-meat that he uses to slap you upside your ass.

EEElvirAAA 0

If we just single out his question. Why do you love him ? Why do you have to bring it all back to your needs, how he's there for you and how he puts up with you. Don't you love him because he's funny, lovable, how he can be selfless, for his good looks, for his intelligence ? You love him for how he serves you so well. YOU DESERVE IT.

Saccharide 0

Doesn't "always there for me" and "is able to deal with my BD" implies that he appreciates his selflessness and how much he loves him? In addition, you have to consider that he's suffering from bipolar disorder. One of the most important things you can have in your life if you're depressed is someone who cares about him. Having someone who you can trust. Someone who stands by you. This probably was the first thing that he thought of when asked the question. IMHO, it's a massive compliment, especially because depressed and bipolar rarely open up to people. Besides, there were plenty of other reasons he loved him. It's fallacious to assume that this guy deserved it because he's "selfish" because he "only" appreciates how his boyfriend "served" him.

How do you know there were plenty of other reasons he loved him? I think the fact the OP broke up with him after hearing his answer implies that based on the history of their relationship, he sure didn't think so and hearing the OP confirm that was enough for him to leave a relationship he'd obviously cared about if the OP felt like that about him.

Saccharide 0

Well, unless the actual OP comes or we can listen to the actual phone call, neither of us can be proven right. So have fun with your opinion.

Pretty much what I was saying to you, which is that you don't know, except at least my assumptions are based on something other than blind sympathy to someone just so I can use it as an excuse to bitch at others.

Saccharide,  No one deserves to get treated that way, so it's still a good 80% FHL. But, what is IMPLIED and what is SAID are two separate things. Let's say OP appreciates that his boyfriend is a good provider, and that he makes intimacy a priority. If he phrases it, "You make me pancakes and give good head," then I'd kick his ass so fast he wouldn't have time to explain. Words are very important. Would we even be having this discussion if the roles were reversed, & the boyfriend answered "Because next to you I look really stable, and you can't really leave me"?    Aside from that, in a partnership where one person is ill, it's hugely important that the healthy person (usually the caretaker) gets adequate time and attention, since most of their life HAS to revolve around the illness. Any mature person, even a depressed one, will figure that out quickly. A question like that is a huge cue to switch roles and give some care back. I know from experience how easy it is to let illness excuse self-centeredness, and especially since the OP is depressed, he needs to vigilantly guard against self-pity. It's not a bad idea for him to reflect and see if he has indeed been selfish. It's a shitty way to learn a priceless lesson. (My replies keep getting eaten, so if the first reappears, apologies.) 

Don't worry, mylifesucks341, you might just find a more creative guy next time. It really wasn't very creative of him to break up with you like that. Hey, mylifesucks341, at least your fml was submitted and now you can soak up some sympathy.

Saccharide 0

Don't think "mylifesucks341" is the OP.

EEElvirAAA 0

oh and i have my own mental issues too, and know a lot of people with those too, and self-centered people are among these crowds too. no offense

Guess what? That was the wrong answer. He went back to being straight. You turn gay men straight! Congratz.